It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence
by regertz
Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…
1. Chapter 1

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…

Prologue…

To begin with, Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Lee Cooper were a couple…

You must believe that at least there is the bare possibility that they could have been a couple or there can be nothing wonderful in the tale I am about to relate…

As I said, Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Lee Cooper were a couple…Had been for a couple of years…

More or less…

As to being a couple as it is generally understood…

And of all the good days of the good year it was Christmas Eve….

And Sheldon, being Sheldon…

"Oh, Lord…I've doubted your existence since I was five and my cat died and you didn't revive her…" sigh… "Doubt only strengthened by my scientific training and the event which followed…My father abandoning us*…My mom telling me I'd never need to worry about a man abandoning me, when I was eight…And then my poor sister was exiled to France when I was eleven*…And not a peep from you in response to rather eloquent prayers…" sign…

"But…I have no other option…" careful pause…

"All right…I know I'm supposed to be utterly honest in these communications…It would annoy my boyfriend Sheldon to know I'd temporarily abandoned my principles, caved to superstition, and appealed for divine assistance…But I'm desperate here…As you should know…If you are…All that…" offhand wave…

"And you owe me for favors unrendered…Not meaning to be unfair, but c'mon…You do…And this is such a little favor as opposed to making my father love me and my sis…Making my sis come home…Making me beautiful…"

Renewed sigh…

"I just want…Well, to paraphrase the song lyric… 'All I want for Christmas' is Sheldon…My boyfriend?...Which if you can be of any assistance to me at all you should know...Just get him to care enough to be with me on Christmas…Or New Year's…I'd take that…I'm easy…In all possible ways…Strictly with regard to my Sheldon, of course…Please make him see how much his not caring enough to be with me tonight and tomorrow hurts me…Well, not too much…I love him, I don't want to see him hurt…Much…" sidelong glance from folded hands… "You got that?...Oh, and if you can, please make my sister happier…Thanks…Uh…Yours respectfully, Amy Farrah Fowler, Ph.D…"

"Well?...You heard that?..."

"I heard it…" sigh...

"We've been a little slow with this case, haven't we, Joseph…?"

"There's been a lot going on, sir…Not that I'm making excuses…"

"This young lady's been through a good deal…I realize we've got a lot of folks with more immediate problems…And she is an American which gives her a pretty darn good start compared to billions of good suffering folk…Still…"

"I know, sir…We'll get right on it…"

"And that boy…Dear God…Joseph, make sure it hurts a little…I know we're not in that end of the business but he's getting off a good deal too easily most days…"

"I was thinkin' that myself, sir…Uh, sir…If we are sending someone down…"

"Someone in mind, Joseph?..."

"Well, sir…You know that fellow we sent down in '46, the clockmaker?...The one who hadn't gotten his wings?..."

"Oh, yes…Clarence…But he got them on that case, the Bailey case, wasn't it?..."

"Well, yes…He did…But…His wife, sir…"

"Oh right, he was married...Oh…That one…The innkeeper's daughter?...The barmaid…"

"She likes to claim her real career's acting, sir…"

"Oh, yes…Well, given her era…One could laud her spirit, Joseph…"

"Ever see her act, sir…?"

"I see…And still no wings…?"

"A fitting match for our Clarence, sir…"

"Now, Joseph…Clarence did very well on that case…Got his wings and all…"

"And put in a special request for his wife to have another chance…Her fourth try, sir…"

Hmmn… "Right…She's had a little difficulty…A bit of temper among other things…"

"A bit?...Sir, when she's in fury, the other side's afraid of her…They wouldn't have her if they could get her…"

"But Clarence loves her, Joseph…And a temper isn't necessarily a bad thing when in the right cause…Send for her…Send for Penelope…"

"Sir?..."

"Clarence?...I thought we sent for Penelope…"

"Just wanted to see if perhaps I could assist her on this one, sir…She's a good heart but she's had a bit of bad luck on the previous tries…"

"Clarence…You know policy…Penelope must do this on her own…"

"Ready and able, sir…Clarence?..." hiss… "I tole you I didn't need your help…I can manage…"

"We can still hear you, girl…" Joseph, annoyed tone…

"Penny…I just wanted to…"

" I know…Dumb Penelope can't earn her wings without the help of her successful angel husband…Just like back on Earth, I couldn't go with you to fight the redcoats…But I did, didn't I?...And I can handle this…Sorry, sir…Joseph…"

"It's all right, Penelope…Clarence is just being protective…Clarence…Penelope will get this assignment and she'll do her best, I'm sure…Don't worry…"

"Absobloomingtootly…Sir…" Quick glance to Clarence, now visible as a short, portly fellow with large nose, balding head…And wings… "Thanks…I love you for tryin…" whisper…Beam…

"I'll keep my wings crossed, Penny…" Clarence sighed… "Good luck, sweetheart…"

"Just remember we have dinner with the Roosevelts tomorrow night so don't get into a card game at the old tavern with the fellas…And no rum toddies…They still give you the equivalent of gout…" kiss blown…Clarence reluctantly flying off…

"He's a good soul, Penny…"

"The best…Sir…Now, as to my mission?..."

"Yes…A troubled young woman is nearing a crisis of faith Penelope…Our computers project that if she stays on her current course she may soon fall completely into despair…And seriously consider giving up God's greatest gift…"

"Oh my…" brightening… "Well, you've picked the right girl, sir…Our family's dealt with this sort of thing before with complete success…"

"Stumbling into luck is what I'd call it…" Joseph…

"What is that supposed to mean?..."

"Penelope…"

"Sorry, sir…I have a little problem with my temper, sir…"

"A big problem after three failures…Each one having to be saved by others…" Joseph…

"I only lost my temper cause I saw wrong being done!...Sir…Sirs…"

"Penelope, sometimes it's necessary to look past the wrong and try to understand the cause…Not in all cases, but sometimes…"

"You guessed I was gonna bring up Hitler, eh sir?..."

"Lets say, I already knew you would, Penny…Now as to the mission…The young woman's despair is due to problems in her relationship…"

"That jerk…As they say nowadays, sir…"

"Let the man finish, girl…"

"Sorry, sir…"

"It's fine…And the young man in question is unquestionably acting like, as you say, a jerk…"

"They usually are…Exceptin' my Clarence…" fond beam… "I knew right from the first day he came into the tavern…"

Hmmphf…Joseph…

"Oh…Sorry, sir…Didn't mean to reminisce on your time, sir…"

"It's fine…But I am concerned, Penelope…Can you deal with this young man without losing your temper?...If you don't believe you can, there's no shame, we can get someone else…"

"I'd do my best, sir…Please, sir…It's become a little embarrassing for Clarence…Not that he's ever said or would say anything…But I know the lads in the tavern tease him about it…Though he never lets it bother him…"

"A sensible man, Clarence…"

"I've tried to learn patience from him…I think I've learnt some, enough I hope…"

"Well, I have to say this one will try your patience very severely…But, lets give it a whirl and see, all right?..."

"Yes, sir…You can count on me,sir…"

Joseph giving off air of sufferance…

Right…We'll see…Again…

"Now here's the young man in question…I'm helping you, can you see him?..."

"Oh, why yes…Oh, this is just like Clarence said…Marvelous…"

"He'll be your prime focus in this case…So don't expect it to merely be a repeat of what your husband did back in '46…"

"Oh, no sir…"

*To learn about Amy's sister Charlotte, you might wish to read my earlier "Gran Mag", though this one is not carrying on from it. Call it a prequel if you like.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part I…

Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, that good day of the good year as mentioned, Christmas Eve…

Some might have called it a reasonably cheery apartment, a comfortable sofa, a nice wide-screen TV and unusually complex-looking stereo system…A closer inspection indicating a fine gaming system…Perhaps less attention to décor than many an apartment but not bad for one housing two bachelors…Neither much of the worldly persuasion…

On a shelfboard, pictures…But generally featuring but of one of the roommates, namely Leonard Hofstadter, experimental physicist and all-around nice fellow, many featuring him with his girlfriend, Penny…A lovely, tall, warm-hearted girl smitten with the acting bug and lured to California from her home in Nebraska by the siren call of the West Coast film and television industry… In a number of photos, the said Leonard's beloved friends, for Leonard was of the warm persuasion himself, and having known the sadness of a lack of warmth maternally in his childhood, was eager to reach out and embrace Humanity…So long as it accepted the embrace without trying to mock or depants him… Those beloved friends including his fellow scientist Rajesh Koothrapali, Howard Wolowitz, astronaut and engineer, Howard's wife Bernadette Rostenkowski, a brilliant microbiologist, and a later, but increasingly beloved addition to the group, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, of whom I have made you aware previously…And, in a very few carefully sneaked photos, Leonard's roommate partner of many years, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper…Who in contrast to the others displayed a considerable lack of appreciation for being included in such frivolity as group or single pictures…To Sheldon, photographs were solely a means of identification for security purposes or following the statistically inevitable disaster sure to befall himself and the others of Leonard's circle one day…Despite his acknowledgement of the status of "boyfriend" in his relations with Dr. Fowler, no warmly glowing picture of he and Amy stood on the mantel…Only that of Amy, alone…Beaming at her beloved with devotion and sufferance…

Some who'd never met the roommates would confuse the names, calling Sheldon, Sheldon, and sometimes Leonard but Sheldon answered to both names, it was all the same to him… Then after determining the information was of no direct interest to him, he scornfully corrected the mistaken and now hapless questioner…

Oh, but he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone of knowledge, Sheldon…To his own conceit, hard and sharp as a flint from which no steel had ever struck generous fire…A man solitary and self-contained as an oyster…

(Really?...Penelope stared at the pictures… "If that skinny fellow's my lad, he doesn't seem all that…Hard and sharp…" "He likes to think so…Mind if I continue?..." Joseph, annoyed tone… "Certainly, sorry…Say…Is that my descendant, the current Penelope?...My word, she's my spitting image…Allowing for the costume…Is that some courtesan she's performing as?…Oh, I knew one of my descendants would make it on the stage…" Hmmph…

"Sorry, Joseph…Pray go on…")

As I was saying…

The cold within him froze his young features, made his gait awkward ("Well, that's his excuse…"), made his eyes narrow, his thin lips blue, and spoke out in his rather annoying nasal whine…

("So typical…" Penelope noted… "Clarence read me a story about a fellow just like this one…"

"Are you going to listen or do you prefer to chat through my time?..."

"Sorry…" Geesh…Eye roll…Clarence was sure right about him…)

External heat and cold had no internal influence on Sheldon…No blissful Californian spring could warm, no Bozeman, Montana winter chill his soul…Though as to his behooties, he much preferred sunny CA…

No wind that blew was more scornful and bitter than he, no falling snow more intently focused, no pelting rain less open to entreaty… The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect…They often "came down" handsomely, but the arrogant Sheldon Cooper never did…

Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks, "Hey Sheldon, how are you? When will you come to see me?" No beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o'clock, no man or woman ever once in all his life inquired the way to such and such a place, of Sheldon…Even the blind persons' dogs appeared to know him; and when they saw him coming on, would tug their owners into doorways and up courts…Excepting when he carried hot dogs on his person, in which case, if they were big blind men's dogs, passersby were afforded some amusement of him…

But what did Sheldon care?...It was the very thing he'd liked…To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call "nuts" to Sheldon…

("What a sad, pathetic wretch?...How'd he ever hook up with?...Uh, sorry, Joseph…")

On this day, Sheldon sat contentedly keeping the world at bay in his favorite spot on the living room sofa… A spot ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer…Originally it had faced the television at a direct angle allowing him to immerse himself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation…In his one concession to a common Humanity, it now faces the television at an angle that is neither direct so that it would discourage conversations nor at an angle that would cause a parallax distortion…

("Huh?...Clarence has a favorite chair in the tavern…And at home we both do…But…"

"Just something you should know…Kinda sums the boy up in a nutshell…"

"I think I know what a television is but is this 'parallax distortion' important?..."

Oh, if only Claire had been able to come along…He's much better at such natural philosophy things…Still, he gave it his all…)


	3. Chapter 3

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part II…

("Say what's that?..." Penelope peered at the sofa… "The odd picture frame with the…MY LORD!..." she lept back as the image on the laptop screen moved…)

On the edge of the sofa, looking dismally at Sheldon on the screen facing his way, yet ignored for the delights of backing up his operating system, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler…In the rather interesting costume of Santa hat, red suit with white trim…

("So that's what these 'computer' things are…" Penelope nodded… "Very nice, reminds me of a story Claire read to me by Mr. Wells…And that is my client?...She's rather…Is that some sort of Turkish harem costume?..."

"It's a Santa Claus suit…And the song young Sheldon silenced that she's been trying to sing to him is called 'Santa Baby'…"

"Really?..."

"Yeah…"

No need to tell Joseph I know the song…Did it for Claire under that nice Mary Martin's instruction last Xmas…

"And she did it for him?...And he turned his device to silence?..."

"Yeah…"

"This case is starting to sound rather tougher than Mr. Bailey's…How can one reach a man like that?..."

"That's part of the reason it went to you, you being an ancestor of someone he knows…As for the reaching, it's your job to figure it out…But that means 'reach him', not knock him on his keyster…"

"I didn't mean to hurt those other…But they were absolute jerks as they say now…I couldn't stand by and just let them behave so badly to their women…and menfolk…Back in me dad's inn, I never tolerated such men…"

"Well, you're not Heaven's bouncer, girl…"

"I do swear I'll keep me temper, Joseph…Sides, this one looks as if he'd break if I were to whale him…")

"A merry Christmas, roomie!..." cried a cheerful voice, the voice of Sheldon's friend and roommate, Leonard who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his approach.

"Bwhuh!" Sheldon, starting… "Humbug!" on recovering…

He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the mild weather outside, this rather unathletic but good-natured friend of Sheldon's, that he was all in a glow; his face was ruddy and not unhandsome in a Hobbity sort of way; his eyes sparkled, his pantings subsided...

"Christmas a humbug, Sheldon?!" said Leonard. "You don't mean that, I'm sure."

"Of course I do, Leonard…Do I ever indulge in making nonfactual comments for the heck of it, besides the time Amy and I did our meme experiments, which hardly counts as 'for the heck of it'…?" said Sheldon. "Merry Christmas?!...What right have you to be merry?...What reason have you to be merry?...In short, by review of the available data, Logic dictates for you, an unMerry Christmas..."

"Fa la la la la, c'mon then…" returned the roommate gaily… "What right have you to be dismal?...What reason have you to be morose?...I put it to you..."

Sheldon having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said "Bwhuh!" again; and followed it up with "Humbug."

"Don't be like that Sheldon…" Leonard sighed…

("Is that the one my descendant has the on again, off again with?..." Penelope asked..

"That's the one…"

"It's a good face…I like him…I like Leonard Hofstadter…Say…I don't suppose…?"

"He hasn't asked and we don't do switch-offs in any case…" frown… "Are you sayin' you wanna bail on this?..."

"No…Just…")

"What else should I be…" returned Sheldon… "When I live in such a world as this?...Merry Christmas?!...As if I haven't heard that enough every year in Galveston…Well, sir…Out upon your merry Christmas!...What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills for a girlfriend without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not a single significant theory richer; a time for reviewing your funding and having every item in the accounts through a round dozen of months presented against you?...Leonard, if I could work my will," said Sheldon indignantly, "Every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on their lips, should be boiled with their own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through their heart as that wonderfully sensible Mr. Scrooge suggested before he succumbed to societal pressure…They should!..."

"Sheldon!" pleaded the roommate… "Oh, hi, Amy…" he waved at the forlorn image on screen…Smiling…

"Sheldon?...Didn't you see Amy here?...Doesn't she look cute?..."

"Bwhah…Humbug!…She was trying to sing me some silly seasonal song dedicated to confirming the Roman paganistic roots of this Gods-forsaken festival eve…I told her I'd no intention of such surrender…"

"That's no way to treat your girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Sheldon…Look at her…Hey, Amy…" Wave again… "You look great…Oh, there she goes…Sheldon…She was crying…"

"Leonard…" returned Sheldon, sternly, "As per the terms of the Roommate Agreement, keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine…And remember that Amy is not for you…"

"Oh, come on…You don't keep it…And I'm sorry I don't go for Amy…You don't deserve to keep her either…"

"Well…Let me leave both alone, then, as the wisest course…" said Sheldon. "Much good may it do you…Much good it has ever done you!..."

("Geesh what a nasty grouch…" Penelope, frowning… "She deserves better than you, jerk!..." cry…

"I know,Joseph…Mind me temper…")

"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say…" returned Leonard. "My relationship with Penny and Christmas among the rest…But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round - apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that - as a nice time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in all the year, when most men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people around them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys…"

" 'Fellow-passengers to the grave'…?" Sheldon eyed him… "Now there's a cheery Christmas thought…"

"You know what I mean, Sheldon…Anyway, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, and though it's very likely not gonna be the year Penny decides to accept my proposal, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God or whatever deity you like, bless it!..."

Sheldon rolling eyes…Every year, same ridiculous and pointless debate between us…

"Now, don't be a putz, Sheldon…Come!...Dine with all of us tomorrow at Penny's…Bring Amy and tell her it's by way of an apology…"

Ap…?

Apo…?…Sheldon blinked…

"Apology…" Leonard finished…

A fuming Sheldon said that he would see him - yes, indeed he did…Even to his own surprise, he went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him in that extremity first…

"But why?..." cried Leonard…"Why?..."

"Why did you take Amy to that wedding?..." said Sheldon…

("Ah, ha…" Penelope beamed… "So, something there after all…Ok, I can work with that…" beam…)

"Because she asked me and I felt like it..."

"'She asked me and I felt like it'!..." mimicked Sheldon, as if that were the only one thing in the world more ridiculous than a merry Christmas…. "Good afternoon, Leonard!...Enjoy your Saturnelia tomorrow…"

"Now, Sheldon, but you never came before that happened…Why give it as a reason for not coming now?...At least think of Amy…"

"I'll deal with my girlfriend…And now, I've a backup to complete…Good afternoon…" said an incensed Sheldon...

"We want nothing from you; we ask nothing of you; c'mon, we're all friends?..."

Nhhhnnt…Sheldon…

("What did he say?..."

"Nhhhnnt…" Joseph repeated…

"Best to get used to it…He does that…")

"I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute, Sheldon…We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party, outside that fight of ours at the physics conference…But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas humour to the last...So A Merry Christmas, roomie!..."

Good afternoon…" said Sheldon...

"And A Happy New Year!...FA la la la la…La la, la…lllllaaaa…"Leonard, backing through the door…

"And now Amy's infected with this nonsense…" sigh… "I'll retire to Bedlam…Or at least the modern American equivalent…" Shaking head…

Oh, well…Now to delight in four hours of operating system updating goodness…The true way to celebrate the season…

What was the deal with that costume she had on anyway…?


	4. Chapter 4

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part III…

The apartment across from Sheldon and Leonard's, where Leonard was now reporting to his beloved, if unwilling to commit, girlfriend and their friends on his failure to lure Sheldon to Christmas dinner and poor Amy's humiliation…

("Oh, my Lord!…It's me!..." Penelope beamed at Penny on sofa…Cringing a bit… "Dear God, what is my great-great-great granddaughter wearing?...Is she a fallen woman?..."

"It's the fashion…I'd thought you'd met folks from the modern era…"

"Not quite this modern…Am I gonna to have dress like that?..."

Kinda would like to see how I'd look with that low blouse…I mean I've shown a little of the girls in my day…But I'll have to draw the line at not wearing anything below the tops of my thighs…

Or perhaps she's not finished dressing and in the modern era no one minds public dressing of men and women?...

Har hmmph…Joseph, expectantly…

"Yeah?...Joseph?..."

"You do want background on Amy and Sheldon's friends don't you?...Or are you just gonna examine the current clothes all day?..."

"Just tryin' to get a handle on the era…Sorry…Please…" she indicated with wave for him to go on…

"Joseph, since I can't see you…" she noted…

"All right then…" weary tone…

"The little one's Howard Wolowitz, an engineer…"

"That's Wolowitz?..." she stared…

"Heard of him?..."

"In hushed tones, followed by howls of laughter, yeah…But I thought he'd be much more deformed, hunchbacked perhaps, by the way the girls discuss him…"

"And the little blonde one next to him is his salvation, Bernadette…"

"Oh, right the ex-saint who reincarnated to save the little fellow from himself…"

"That's the one…" bored tone…

"Does that happen very often?...She was supposed to be his guardian angel…I didn't know falling in love with your charge was allowed?..."

"More often than you might think…Though it's frowned upon…" shrug… "Special circumstances…The kid needed help, she's a famed saint with mucho bonus points who'd passed on love for duty before…"

Glad Claire was assigned a man then…She thought…

"Well, true love's always nice…"

"Yep…That's your descendant as you know…Likewise in the serving profession, would be actor…"

"I prefer the hospitality industry…Uh, but never too hospitable…"

"Uh-huh…That's Rajesh Koothrapali, astrophysicist from India… " pause… "You want to know what an astrophysicist is or you ok on that?..."

"Something with stars and planets I imagine?..."

"Close enough…And Leonard, you've met…A physicist who does experiments…"

"Oh…Like Dr. Franklin?..."

"Close enough…" bored tone…

"And all friends of that poor girl and that Britishy phlegmatic fellow, Sheldon?..."

"Yep…His closest/only friends…Hers too…"

"Well…They seem like nice people…A bit risqué clotheswise on the resurrected nun's and my counterpart's parts…How'd Sheldon turn out so badly with friends like this?...Or do they in fact loathe him and plot to divide his family estates amongst themselves?..."

Stare…

"Sorry…Claire reads Twain, I like romantic fiction…")

"How's Sheldon and his one man war on Christmas?..." Howard grinned at Leonard…

"Oh, you know his infuriating majesty…But you're right, he does single-handedly almost give plausibility to Fox News…Damn him…"

Raj, Penny, Howard starring…

Knew that dam of human sufferance would break one day Howard thought…

"…Oh, it's just…You know I don't mind him acting like an idiot when he only hurts himself, missing a pretty average Xmas dinner…" grin…

"Excuse me…?" Penny, mock-frown…

"Considering I'll be cooking most of it…" he noted…

"Well, in that case…True enough…" she nodded…

"It'll be fine, I'm sure…Last year's was a fine dinner…" Raj shook his head… "The turkey demi-glace could have used a soupcon more…" he paused, considering… "Tarragon, I'd say, but…"

"He's kidding, Raj…" Penny, frowning…

"As was I…Most assuredly…" Raj, hastily… "The tarragon was just an idea…"

A good one, he noted to Howard, settling back…

"…Well, the thing is…" Leonard resumed… "He made Amy cry…After she'd decked herself up and gone on-line to sing 'Santa Baby'…Penny?..." he stared as Penny rushed to her apartment door..

"That little Texas…!" she noted grimly, hurrying out the open door…Leonard following after…

Sounds of banging bringing the rest to her open apartment door, looking to see Penny grimly battering away at Leonard and Sheldon's door… "Sheldon!...Sheldon!...Sheldon!, you two-bit Scrooge, you get out here!, you get out here now!...Sheldon!...Don't make me have Howard take these hinges off!..."

"Left my keys in my room…" Leonard explained to the others…

("Spirit…I fancy this triple great-grand-daughter…" Penelope noted, with smile… "Do wish she'd consider dressing before going out in public, even within…Is that the custom these days or is she just very spirited?... )

Sigh…Sheldon rising from his spot…

The lunatic Hofstadter in leaving to bestow inane greetings upon more susceptible souls had clearly allowed another lunatic license to inflict more of the same…

"Penny…No need to offer me seasonal greetings…I done had all I can take from Amy and…"

"YOU GIT OUT HERE, COOPER!...FRONT AND CENTER, NOW!..." Heavy banging…

My…She seems to have picked up something from my mom…He reluctantly unlocked and opened the door…

"Sheldon Cooper…" icy stare… "At this time of the year, what the hell do you mean acting…The way you always do…?"

"Excuse me?...Hello Leonard, Raj, Howard…Bernadette…I see you've abandoned the joys of Chinese food night to surrender to the sublime torture that is the current holiday season…Well…As Leonard's no doubt informed you…"

"You made my bestie cry, you ass!..." Penny grimly… "And after she spent days…Literally…And I know cause I trained her…To learn that song just to sing it to you tonight…!"

"Oh…Well…Pardon me for exercising the rights due me under the Relationship Agreement, paragraph seven, clause b, lines 4 through…"Holidays may be kept in the manner to which either of the party's so keeping do keep them without hindrance or constraint'…Nuff said…Penny, I don't choose to keep Christmas and I can't afford to expend my precious emotional capital on those idle enough to do so…"

"Arrggh…Sheldon…Can't you, for the sake of the one woman on Earth who will ever be willing to love you besides your mom and meemaw, put aside Sheldon the overbearing, arrogant, yet utterly insecure jerk for a day and be the Sheldon whose meemaw calls him 'Moonpie' because he's so good she could just eat him up…And sings 'Soft Kitty' to scared girls when they've been hurt…?"

Hmmn…

"Well?..."

"No." Cold look…Door slam…

Whoa…Howard, Bernadette, Raj…Leonard shaking head…

"I know what this is about…" sigh…

"Oh…I forgot…" Penny, looking a bit distressed…Then frowning …"But that's all the more reason not to hurt the person trying to help him…"

("Joseph?..."

"It's in the report…"

"Oh?..." Penelope eyed the folder of sheets… "So I'm supposed to read this as well?...Claire didn't have to read anything…"

"You do…")

"Sheldon…Sheldon…Sheldon…" Penny knocked steadily…

"I think he's retreated to the Fortress of Solitude…" Leonard noted…

("It's from…" Joseph began…

"I read the funnies…" Penelope nodded…)

The door opened…A sheepish young dark-haired woman emerging…

("Now that's unexpected…" Penelope noted… Staring…

"It's not that…She's his assistant…Alix…" Joseph explained…)

"Hi…" nervous wave to the group… "Hello, Leonard…Uh, Penny…Just picking up some work Dr. C wanted me to get to it on…"

("And a manstealing bitch threatening my descendant's happiness?..." Penelope, grimly eyeing the adoring look…In exact copy of the look Penny was giving the assistant…)

"He's not letting you have Christmas off?..." Leonard stared…

Penny, narrow-eyed stare…Howard eyeing Bernadette, Bernadette, Howard…

Raj looking uncomfortable…Really could stand a belt of brewski right now…

Beer, that magic elixir that could put an end to this episode of Penny, the green-eyed monster/Leonard, the easily vanquished by propelling one Raj K to his most stratospheric heights of manly charm…

"Oh, he is…He has to, as he says, it's University policy even if it's outrageous picking his funding pocket, so to speak, every 25th of December…But I promised to be in the office all the earlier on the 3rd…Since the University shuts down till then…" Alix, nervously…

("What's that sound?..." Penelope, looking round…

"Vibes from your counterpart…In the form of the theme music from a film called 'Psycho'…" Joseph noted…

"Oh, a chip from the tree stump, eh?...I once got in trouble over pouring a tankard of flaming rum punch over a young maid who showed Claire a bit too much fanny…Er, fancy…Awkward thing about it was, it was in Heaven…"

"So everyone knows…" Joseph, sighing…)

Leonard watching Penny grimly stare after the retreating Alix…

"You know you really don't have to worry about Alix…She's a nice girl…And I'm sure she has no interest in Sheldon…"

Howard eyeing Bernadette…Bernadette, Howard…Mutual head shake…


	5. Chapter 5

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part IV…

("Ok, we've seen the friends, I've looked over the notes…What's next?...I'd like to wrap this up and get dinner on the table for Clarence and the boys…Not that Claire doesn't help around the house but, frankly as a cook…What?..." Penelope, innocent look…

"I see you've overcome your uncertainty about modern fashion…" Joseph, curt tone…

"I figured I'd have to learn to dress the part…" she noted… "It's the same blouse my descendant was wearin'…And trousers of respectworthy length…"

"Knocked a few years from your calendar as well…"

"Don't want to frighten my client or her fellow…" the now Penny-aged Penelope noted… "Sort of seamlessly fitting into their world view as someone they're familiar with, ya know?…"

Pause, clearly suggestive of a hard if invisible stare…

"Uh-huh…I thought you'd decided Cooper was an insensitive lout…"

"I'm trying to display thoughtfulness and patience, Joseph…That's why I was assigned this one, right?..."

"Something tells me you're eager to display something else for ole Clarence…Well, must admit I'd not thought the old fellow could provoke such 'eagerness'…"

Smile… "We're a rather unusual twosome…Always have been…And very well matched, whatever some may think…Perhaps we should get on with things?..." high-minded, if low-cut bloused look…

"Well, we'd best have a look at your client again…Give you background there…"

"Amy?...Certainly…Hmmn…Is this still California?..."

"With this much snow, it's certainly not southern California…" grousing response…)

Snowy farm field stretching across a wide view to a wooden fence to the left, to the right and directly, far to side and in the distance, clumps of trees stretching to solid evergreen and bare-limbed forest…Behind, the field running to a modest, but good-sized farmhouse with the seacoast beyond…Clear blue sky, deep blue to green sea…

"Why this looks to be more like home…New England…"

"Maine…The farm Amy and her sister mostly grew up on…That's Amy's grandmother, Margaret…" They observed a tall, lanky, well past middle-age steel-grey haired woman of determined jaw in heavy overcoat and gloves sweeping the steps of the farmhouse porch…

"Where I have seen her?..." Penelope stared…

"Their great aunt likewise Margaret and spitting image of this one was the Wicked Witch of the Oz movie in '39…The Fowler-Hamilton girls all take great pride in the family history and all bearing some resemblance…"

"Yes, I see it now…That chin…Oh, there's Amy, right?..." Penelope eyed the small, bespectacled figure in red snowsuit emerging from the house onto the porch… "And…Oooh…"

"That's her older sister…Charlotte…"

"Dear God…The poor…Creature…"

"Neurofibromatosis…Possibly Proteus Syndrome as well…Ever hear of the Elephant Man…?"

"No, but I get the intended image…Poor thing…And so Amy learned patience here?...Developed that loving heart that could even tolerate a Sheldon Cooper?..." she fumbled in trousers' pockets…

"Something like that…What are you doing?..."

"Looking for my quill pen…I should be writing this down…Claire suggested it as he nearly forgot some things when you took him to see Mr. Bailey's childhood…" She looked about…Darn, no inkwell…Hafta scratch it…)

"Gran…" Amy called… "We're going to continue our experiment on the effects of cold on Charlotte's lumps…"

Charlotte waving notebook in good hand…Amy adjusting extra-extra-large coat and blanket about her…

"That's fine, girls…But not too long…Charlotte shouldn't catch cold in her lungs…Keep her bundled up, Amy…Just expose one skin area…"

"We'll stick to protocol, Gran…C'mon Charley…" she helped Charlotte down the stairs…

"Do you have the clippings…?" Charlotte hissed…Brushing long hair back…

"In my pocket…" Amy nodded…The two toddling off down the shoveled driveway, arm-in-arm…Gran Margaret watching…A downcast look which she immediately dropped as Amy looked back to her…Resuming sweeping after a hasty wave…

How does one of the world's leading physiological psychologists deal with a broken heart when it's one's own…And one's own being lost…?

No better than anyone else, clearly…

"Picture?..." Charlotte, urgently…

"Two…His high school valedictorian address…Though he never made it, he passed out…"

"Oh, no…" Anxious stare… "He's very thin…Does he have…Something?..."

"Nerves…He was ok…He's only 11, it's clearly stress-related…And there's a photo of him winning a science award last year…"

(Penelope stared…

No…

"Yeah…They met him on a train coming up for this visit…He and his grandmother, Meemaw…")

The girls heading along a road leading to the sea…Charlotte struggling along…Gran watching them carefully, sadly from the porch…

"We'll try it here, ok?..." Amy urged…

"I can go further…Gotta build up my resistance…Father won't send me away if I'm better…" Charlotte insisted…

"Charley…"

"I won't let Gran know we heard her on the phone…"

"Anyway, we shouldn't go further, we still have to get back…Come on, we have a set protocol…Lets have your arm…"

"First…?"

"Ok…" Amy pulled out a batch of newspaper clippings…

"Oh…There's our angel boy…" Charlotte beamed at the photo in her hand… "He called me an angel, Am…An angel…And he didn't run away or stare at me…Oh, when I'm dead and you've married him ask him to let you call one of your girls Charlotte…"

"You won't die, Charley…" Amy firmly…

"Statistics, Am…And I'd rather be dead than go away…"

"'Lies, damned lies, statistics'…" Amy shook her head… "And don't be a quitter…We'll find something, somebody…Say?...Maybe Sheldon will invent something?..." eager look…

"That would be nice…" Charlotte nodded…"But if not…He's yours Amy…You've got to bless him with a Fowler girl…He's the one for you…No one else deserves my Amy…Ok, I'm ready…Apply treatment #10…"

"Let me get the size down…Lets see, 'Mr. Fuggles'…"writing in notebook…Pulling ruler out… "Ten mms, by six…By four…Ok, applying snow cover…Time, one minute…"

"He's a growing boy is Fuggles…" Charlotte, grinning…

"Not since treatment #6…Excellent…" Amy closed the notebook… "He's yours, Charley…I may have seen him first…But he went up to you…"

"Am…Don't you want him?..."

"God, yeah…" Amy sighed… "He's beautiful…But you'll be as outside beautiful as in one day and…"

"Well…No one else…Promise…He gotta have nothing less than a Fowler…He deserves it, I'm sure of it…You could tell…"

"Of course no one else…" Amy, insistent… "Even if you have to resort to Gran's way with Grandpa…Time!..." she brushed off the snow from 'Mr. Fuggles'…"

"Well, Gramps did always say kidnapping was the best thing that ever happened to him…But don't let him go, Am…You deserve the best…An angel…And he's the sort who needs a Fowler to protect him, it's easy to see…" sigh at photo…

"He's for you, sis…Soon as you're better…We'll get him, I promise…"

"Come, you want him…" Charlotte smiled… "Don't play innocent…Like Gran says…Fowlers don't waste our or people's time with nonsense…And we're always straight to it…"

"He'll never want me…" Amy shook snow-suited head…

"Of course he will…You're my beautiful and brilliant, with a shining soul, Am…He's got a brain and he's an angel…How could he not, once you do a little convincing…Promise me, you'll give it your all?…He belongs with one of us, no one else…After all, we can't leave an angel to get in with some idiot…And when I'm ashes…"

"Charley…Eh…Now who's playing innocent…?" Frown… "And, what if you're not?..."

"Hmmn…Well, then…Maybe…" grin… "We'll have to duke it out…"

"Well, you promise?…And you'll give it your all…?"

"Promise…If I'm still here…After all, if it goes that way, we can always try to clone him…"

Both looking at eleven-year old Sheldon's image…Arms round…

Sigh…

("This was their last year together…" Joseph noted… "Their father sent Charlotte off, frankly expecting her to die, to France at a boarding school, well-known for disposing of 'burdensome' children… Though she refused to do him that service, things were never the same again for the girls…"

"Sheldon?..."

"Sheldon…And a world that couldn't just let them be happy…")


	6. Chapter 6

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part V…

("This Holiday Season…" deep intonation… "Amy Farrah Fowler…and Sheldon Cooper, natural philosophers…"

"He's a physicist…She's a neurobiologist…" Joseph sighed…

"Eh…Natural Philosopher still sounds better…" Penelope shrugged… "Anyway…This Holiday Season…"

"Explain to me why I agreed to letting you do an intro…?"

"Inspiration and helps me organize my thoughts…I love the flickers…And you were looking down my blouse…"

"What?...How the heck could you know that?...I'm invisible to you…"

"And I'm an ex-tavern maid…" shrewd look… "Oh, come on Joseph…You were only human yourself once…And so long as Claire never hears…I was a little flattered after all these years…"

"You were in my field of vision, that's all…But, I'm willing to humor you, if it'll get the job done…So?..."

"Ahem…This Holiday Season…Amy and Sheldon…Are going where they've never gone before…"

"This better not be leading to where I think it's leading, girl…" stern tone…

"Oh, come on…They're adults…And, you know what's what here…But I meant…Into their pasts…Their present…And… Their future…"

"Fine…Now, are you inspired?...Can we get back to the job?..."

"Pray continue, Joseph…" wave…

Field of vision…Please…)

Sheldon took his melancholy dinner alone in his usual spot; and having read all the newest physics papers online, and beguiled the rest of the evening with his operating system reconfiguration, went to his bedroom…As noted, he resided in chambers which he shared with his roommate…Outside was now dark, the fog so hung about the black windows, that it seemed as if some Genius of the Weather sat in mournful meditation there…

("Geesh…So much for sunny California…" Penelope shook head… "His friends were just across the way before they went off for dinner, what's with him?...Why is he spending Christmas Eve cut off like this when there are so many people who just want a chance to love him?..."

Long silence…

"Ohhh…My job to find out…Right…Got it…Thanks…")

Now, it is a fact, that there was nothing at all particular about the laptop computer on the bedroom table, except that it was good-sized as to screen, even, large…It is also a fact, that Sheldon had shut it off that morning as he had done so night and morning, during his whole residence in that place; also that Sheldon Cooper had as little of what is called fancy about him as any man in the city of Pasadena even including - which is a bold word - the chamber of commerce. ..Let it also be borne in mind that Sheldon had not bestowed one thought on his girlfriend Amy, since his last mention of her that afternoon. And then let any man explain to me, if he can, how it happened that Sheldon, preparing to boot up to do a few final reviews, saw on the screen, without its undergoing any intermediate process of change - not a black screen, but Amy's face.

("Oh, oh…I know this…You use electricity, like Dr. Franklin used to catch in those Leyden jars…That's what makes the image light up…" Penelope, beaming…

Thought I didn't know the modern way, didntcha…?

"Claire told me all about it…The electric force passes to the elemental particles and they light…"

"No electricity…He didn't turn it on…"

"Oh…")

Amy's face… It was not in impenetrable shadow as the other objects in the room were, but had a dismal light about it, like a bad lobster in a dark cellar…

"Damn screen needs to be replaced…" sigh…Sheldon frowned…

It was not angry or ferocious, but looked at Sheldon as Amy always looked: earnestly with ghostly spectacles turned up on its ghostly forehead…Her hair was curiously stirred, as if by breath or hot air; and, though the eyes were wide open, they were perfectly motionless…That, and its livid color, made it horrible; but its horror seemed to be in spite of the face and beyond its control, rather than a part or its own ex-

("Joseph…That's mean…Amy's a wonderful girl…"

"This is what Sheldon sees, girl…I'm just pushing his imagination…"

"Well, lets hope it's guilt…It'd ought to be…")

-pression…

As Sheldon looked fixedly at this phenomenon, it was blank and black again…

To say that he was not startled, or that his blood was not conscious of a terrible sensation to which it had been somewhat used since infancy, would be untrue…But he put his hand back upon the laptop he had relinquished, turned it sturdily on, and logged in…

He did pause, with a moment's irresolution, to get up, open and shut the door; and he did look cautiously behind it first, as if he half-expected to be terrified with the sight of Amy's hair sticking out into the hall. But there was nothing on the back of the door, so he said "Pooh, pooh!" and closed it with a bang…

("Well at least that's got him goin'…" Penelope grinned… "May I…?"

"If you must…" sigh… This family sure goes for the big show and lights…)

Lights flickered…

Sheldon looked about…

"Lovely…"

("And cue sound…" Penelope smiled…)

Banging sounds…But definitely not knocking…More like someone dragging chains about, over boxes in the cellar…

("You know this apartment is not above a cellar…" Joseph…

"His imagination'll make allowances…Just like your Amy head…" Penelope noted…)

"Strange…The Bains who live below us are usually very quiet…" Sheldon noted, looking down at the floor…

Sounds of dragging chains now on as if coming up the stairs…

Hmmn…

("He'll go check now…" Penelope grinned… "And no one there…"

Hmmn…She stared as Sheldon took the desk chair seat…)

"Hello, Leonard…" he addressed the speed-dialed cell phone…

("Allow for modern technology, girl…" Joseph noted…)

"Yes, this is your anal Scroogian roommate…No, I am not 'breaking down' to ask to come to dinner…I just wanted to check if you knew what the banging outside was…What banging?...Leonard?...Are you and Wolowitz attempting to be amusing…If so …Bwhah…Very amusing, now you can stop…Leonard?...Leonard?..."

Hmmn…It must be a practical joke…

A violent bang and rattle of chain just outside the bedroom door…He went over, triumphantly opening with a sudden rush…

("Nyah…" Penelope grinned…)

Nothing…

"Oh, darn…" Sheldon frowned… "The apocalypse was supposed to be on the 21st…" Shaking head, he closed the door…

"Hello, young Edison…" a voice from his desk chair…A familiar voice…

"Paw-paw?..." he stared…


	7. Chapter 7

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part VI…

"Shelly boy, what the devil are you doin' hoppin' round like that?…" the smiling, warm, pink-cheeked, partly bald, white-grey hair visage of Paw-Paw addressed Sheldon…Clear blue eyes fixed on him…

"I'm trying to wake myself up…I'm clearly dreaming…"

"You don't believe in me, boy?..."

"Of course not…Me Paw-Paw…My grandfather is dead…Long dead…"

"Well, you're my young Tom Edison, boy…" rub of short-sleeved shirt exposed elbows… "So, tell me…Why should you doubt the evidence?...And remember I was a lawyer, Shelly…Lets have the facts, honey…" warm smile…Leaning back in desk chair…Thumbs in suspenders…

"Facts?...To start with, my grandfather died just before Christmas, years ago…You can't be him, except as a dream or a hallucination…"

"Reasonable…Go on…Make the case…"

"You didn't walk in, you just appeared in my chair…"

"Objection…I could've climbed in the window or slipped in the door earlier when you weren't lookin'…I expect better, Shelly…" he lifted the straw hat in his ample lap up in one large hand and began fanning himself…

"All right, granted…But then you couldn't be Paw-Paw's ghost…"

"You do a study of ghosts in your science work…?"

"No…"

"Some authority tell you ghosts can't open doors or climb windows…And if so, did you verify the source, boy?..."

"Well…All the movies and TV shows…"

"Some say pigs can fly and mice and toys can talk, boy…You believe that?..." stern eyeing…

"No, of course not…"

"Then lets eliminate unvalidated sources, eh?...Facts, Sheldon…What did I always say?..."

Narrow look by Sheldon…

"Paw paw always said… 'The only way is to clear away all the chicken crap and what's left is the toad of truth…'"

"That's right, boy…Now lets review…I'm here and you can hear and see me, whatever I be…Correct?..."

"Within the parameters of this dream or fantasy…"

"One thing at a time, boy…"

"Correct…" sigh…

"I'm dead…Many years…Correct?..."

"Assuming you are Paw-Paw in some form…Correct…"

"Now that's good…I could be an imposter…But why would an imposter come into your room, boy, and sit here chattin' with you?...And what would an imposter have to gain…?"

"Well, I'm am one of the world's greatest minds…And my comic book collection is priceless to a collector…Plus my friends are given to practical jokes…"

"All right, then…You doubt me bein' your Paw Paw…Good enough…But as to this 'dream and fantasy' business?..."

"It's a logical conclusion…I'm in my bedroom after a long night…I may have gotten to sleep without realizing it…Imagining I'm seeing and talking to my dead grandpa is a likely dream scenario, especially right now…Plus I was just either dreaming or hallucinating that I saw Amy Farrah Fowler's head, first on my laptop here, then over by the door…"

"Reasonable…" nod… "Maybe there's a way we can eliminate some degree of that doubt…"

With that, the figure rose and let out a bellowing, hideous scream…

"Ahhhhh!...Save me, Jesus!..." Sheldon raced for the door…Locked and unforceable…He banged off the door in a desperate attempt to get out…

"Boy…" the figure sighed…You'll go and hurt yourself…I'm sorry to put the fear of God in you, but I haven't got much time here, Shelly…"

"Your time on this globe is very brief?..." Sheldon asked…

"Eh…I could stay long as I want but I've got work to do…Lota souls needing a good lawyer to help them face judgment, boy…And then too, I've got someone waitin' for me…"

"I know…" Sheldon, sadly…Downcast look…

"Shelly…Your Meemaw never wanted to go and leave you…But there's a time for all things…And if I'm here now, then she must be ok as well, right, boy?...Only logical, Mr. Spock…?" grin…

"Yeah…But if this is all just a dream…"

"Well, if it is…It's a good dream, exceptin' you bein' frightened out of your skin for a minute, eh?..."

"True enough, I guess…" narrow look, sigh… "Paw Paw if it is you, why'd you come to me, now?..."

"Shoot, boy…Why do you think?...They tole me my young Tom Edison grandson was having troubles…And his best shot at happiness was like to go down the crapper…" frown, followed by smile…

"Thanks, Paw Paw…But I don't know if you do anything to help…"

"Never say that, boy…Even if we lose the case, there's always the appeals process…There's always somethin', Sheldon…Now, what's this about you having female trouble?..."

"Amy…My girlfriend…I may have been a little harsh…"

"I know about her…Harsh ain't the word, son…Why would you go and hurt a nice…Maybe a bit off the curb…Girl like that?..."

"I don't know…She's always wanting to make me happy and get closer…"

"You don't like that?..."

"I don' know…" shrug… "I do sometimes…But…And now…There's…"

"So I heard…" stern look…

"I didn't mean to hurt her…Everything's happening so fast…Everyone's telling me to get on with my life…Even my best friend doesn't understand…Amy…"

"Doesn't understand…?"

"Actually, I think she does…Better than anyone…But…"

"Boy, I think you need a little help…"

"Paw Paw?...You know Mama had me tested…"

"Not quite that kind…Though frankly, boy…If you keep on pushin' the folks who love you away…"

"What kind then?..."

"Hey!..." Penny, in low cut blouse, slacks…Hair a bit unusual…Piled and bunned…

"Penny?!...How'd you get in here?...Quick!...Do you see anyone else in here?...I think I'm having hallucinations…"

"Uh, yeah…I see a nice older man in that chair…" she pointed… "How-de-do, sir?..." Paw Paw nodding pleasantly…Lil' lady…

"I guess I should explain…I'm not the Penny you know, Sheldon…" she added, hastily… "I'm Amy's…And for purposes of helping her, your…Guardian angel…Penelope Minerva Oddbody, at your service…"

"Minerva?...The goddess of wisdom?..."

"That's the one…" beam… "My father was very much fond of the classic Latins…What?..." stare…

"Now I know I'm dreaming…"


	8. Chapter 8

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part VII…

"So let me understand this…" Sheldon eyed the smiling Penelope standing near his desk, then Paw Paw sitting in his desk chair, still fanning himself…

"Paw Paw, you've come cause you heard I was at risk of losing my best…"

"…only…" Penelope corrected… "Just to make it clear how serious this one is, Master Professor…"

"Why, thank you…" Sheldon eyed her with a pleased nod… "I only wish our Penny had such regard for Science…"

"Don't get full of yerself, boy…" Paw Paw frowned… "I was a judge but I don't lord it over folks…And remember the lady is from an era when gentlemen addressed ladies properly…"

"Sorry, sir…Ma'am…Anyway…My chance at happiness…And you, ma'am…Have come cause you're Amy's and my guardian angel…?"

"…Acting…In your case…Which is kind of fun as I was an actress…" Penelope beamed…

"…Actress…Or 'actress' as we'd say with our Penny…"

"Boy…" Paw Paw, sternly…As Penelope frowned…

Keep your temper, keep your temper…She muttered…

("Yes, I am keeping my temper, Joseph…")

"Sorry…Ma'am…"

"She's my descendant…Directly…And it's not easy to break into acting, Dr. Cooper…Now or in my day…" Penelope, sternly… "But as I told you, I'm here to help set you on the right course…"

"Really?...I should think the 'right course' would be a good night's sleep…"

"Shelly, what is today?..." Paw Paw, leaning back, fixing him with a stare…

"Christmas Eve…"

"And why are you sittin' here alone in your room on Christmas Eve?...Aren't there friends of yours right across the way?...Aren't there folks in need like you, me, and MeeMaw used to go visitin'?...Carolers singing…Shoot, you could watch children dancing 'The Nutcracker' on TV…And your MeeMaw might be pleased to see you at church…And then there's this poor girl of yours…Who loves you with all her heart…"

"I know, Paw Paw…" Sheldon sighed… "But…I don't…I can't…"

"Sheldon…These people love you…Just as MeeMaw and I did, though the way you've been carryin' on, I could wonder why…" Paw Paw frowned… "Well…I want you to let Mrs. Oddbody here help you out…You pay attention and you mind her Shelly…And if you do, maybe…Maybe…There'll be something for you tomorrow…"

"A train?..." Sheldon beamed… "Or MeeMaw's pralines?!..."

"Ask me no questions, I plead the Fifth…" grin… "Take care, young Edison…You know we love you…" Paw Paw faded away…

"Paw Paw?..."

"He's gone, Sheldon…But he'll never be forgotten or forget you…" Penelope noted, smiling… "Now, we've a lot to do and I've my own family waiting for Christmas Eve dinner…So, milad, shall we to it?…"

Hmmn…

"How is it I only rate an 'acting' guardian angel?..." Sheldon, frowning…

"Oh, sweetheart…" Penelope, slight sigh… "You really don't wanna know…"

"All aboard…Next stop…Grand Central Station, at 42nd Street and Park in the great city of New York, New York…Built by and named for the New York Central Railroad in the heyday of American long-distance passenger rail travel, it is the…Largest train station in the world by number of platforms: 44, with 67 tracks along them…" Grandiloquently… "These tracks are on two levels, both below ground, with 41 tracks on the upper level and 26 on the lower, though the total number of tracks along platforms and in rail yards exceeds 100…Our terminal in question covers an area of 48 acres and serves commuters traveling on the Metro-North Railroad to Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess counties in New York State, and Fairfield and New Haven counties in Connecticut…Until 1991 the terminal served Amtrak, which moved to nearby Pennsylvania Station upon completion of the Empire Connection…To which we will be transferring from our current diversion upon disembarking…"

"Kid knows his stuff…" a passenger grinned at the proud, if gangly 11 year old eagerly striding the coach aisle…

("Oh, my Lord…" Sheldon gasped… "I know this train…I begged her to let us take it so we could see Grand Central Station, even though it was only local service…"

"Well, she wanted to go to Dutchess County anyway to see Mr. and Mrs. Roosevelt's home…" Penelope, kindly… "You didn't put her out, really…"

"Oh, Shelly…" chuckle… "Now come and sit down…" a warm voice…

("MeeMaw…" a gasping Sheldon echoed the word his younger counterpart spoke offhandedly, a bit unhappy to be pulled away from his views up and down the car…)

"Look, there's New York City, MeeMaw!..." young Sheldon, unable to contain himself… "A heck of a town…The Bronx is up, and the Battery's down…" Meemaw joining in, with laugh…

"Can we see the Empire State Building?...Where King Kong died?...It's on the way to our transfer at Penn Station…" Sheldon, a bit sad at the mention of the noble primate…

That's what Love does to a feller, Daddy always said…Before Mama would whack him…Chains him up and then guns him down…

"Sure we can…But you've got to show me your Grand Station first, Shelly…You've gone and got me all excited about it…"

"Oh, yes…You'll love it, Meemaw…" excitedly, then, slight frown… "Can't see why they didn't keep it for Amtrack but it's still as beautiful as in all the movies…"

"Well, this way you get to see both stations…The Lord moves in his ways, honey…"

"Eh, the new Penn Station…A monument to Humanity's willingness to toss in the trash anything worthwhile that gets in the way of people who can't see past their nose…"

"Shelly…"

"Sorry, MeeMaw…I'm grateful we get to see the Grand, ma'am…"

"I wouldn't go on without it…How could I after all you've told me…Now have you got track of our bags…?"

"Yes, ma'am…Oooh!...There's the Empire State…!"

("Quite a day for you, Shelly…" Penelope smiled… "It was…" Sheldon nodded… "We walked all over and stayed in a hotel…I saw the roof of the Empire State…So much finer than the Towers…But the best thing was…"

"You and Meemaw, all alone together…" smile…

"Yes…" pause…

"What?..."

"I don't know…I'd like to talk to Amy, that's all…Say, is that it?...Can I go now?..."

"Sit tight, sir...As you people say…" Penelope, shaking head…

"So you were on your graduation present trip…Before you went off to college…"

"MeeMaw's present…She knew just what to get me…" beam… "I mean buying me a real train would've been impractical…And I already had too many model ones to take to college…"

"It must have been a little daunting, college at eleven years old…"

"Oh, I was glad to escape Galveston at last…All those people who didn't even understand basic science…Or science fiction…And thought I was a freak cause I was so much smarter…"

He eyed Penelope…

"You're supposed to say 'Oh, sweetie, they didn't think you were a freak cause you were so much smarter'…Penny would say that…"

"Well, not being your Penny, I'd say 'I don't know about that…But folks usually have more than one reason for what they do'…"

"They were a politer people in your day…Thank you…"

"Depends on the time of day, my lad…By evening and a few rum punches we could get quite less polite…Of course, it must have been hard, still, even for you and as exciting as it all was to leave Galveston, headed to study at a fine institute…"

"Not that hard…No one but Paw Paw and MeeMaw understood my love for Science…Even Mama thought it smacked of defiance to the Lord's will…And if Daddy…" pause…

"Your father died that year didn't he?...And that made you able to leave…" Penelope eyed him…

"Daddy thought I was too young to be going to college…He wanted me to wait…Said I was already odd enough…He and Mama fought about it…He told Mama she was turning me into a freak, I'd have no friends and grow up without knowin' how to be a man…He wanted me to work and just take courses at the college at home till I was a little older.."

"And how did you like that?..."

"I didn't…I wanted to go…He thought I was too big for my britches and needed to be taken down a few pegs…Mama said…" Pause…

"She said 'George, you're just jealous of the boy cause he's goin' to amount to something'…" Penelope noted…

"How'd you know that?..."

"Well, I could say I was shown it but frankly I could've guessed…It's pretty typical…Did you think your daddy was jealous, Sheldon?..."

"I don't know…I think he wanted me to be more the kind of boy Georgie Jr. was…But I think…He meant well…He tried to understand me, best he could…" hesitation… "I didn't want him to die…"

"It wasn't your fault, Sheldon…MeeMaw told you that, so did your mother…"

"Are you a guardian angel or a pop psychiatrist?..." frown…

"I have heard Dr. Freud lecture…" Penelope beamed… "Claire, my husband, took me…He was fascinating…A bit creepy but very wise…"

"Lovely…I should tell you, psychiatry is as much a 'science' to me as alchemy and voodoo…"

"So Dr. Freud says…" grin… "He never intended it to be anything but a tool for thinking about the mind…And Dr. Einstein does a lot of thought experiments, you know…"

"I suppose you've heard him lecture, too…"

"Every chance I get, my lad…And why shouldn't I be striving to improve meself?..."

Hmmn…If this a dream, my subconscious clearly needs a lengthy talking-to…

"Wait…This isn't Grand Central…" he stared at the station now appearing before him out of a mist…

"It's tomorrow…Back then…Sweetheart…"

"Oh, but I was hoping to see Grand Central again…" he frowned…

"Sheldon, this isn't a vacation…" Penelope eyed him…

Lord knows, certainly not for me…She sighed to herself…

Joseph, it's not fair to monitor my thoughts…I have a right to grouse a little if I like…)

"Excuse me…" young Sheldon interrupted a young woman behind glass talking to a customer at the Amtrak ticket counter…

"One minute, kiddo…" the pretty brunette smiled at him… "This young lady is before you…"

"Pardon me, miss…" he nodded, waving a stack of sheets… "But I wanted to leave this petition denouncing the demolition of the old Penn Station terminal building…My grandmother and I are leaving very soon…"

The attendant rolled eyes…

"That's a very worthy cause…Please…" Amy stepped back… "But also, please hurry miss, I need to get help for my sister if we're to make the train…"

Attendant eyeroll redoubled on seeing the extra stacks young Sheldon was now pulling out of his satchel…

"I include a comprehensive plan for restoring the original building and a economic impact statement on the benefits to tourism in the city and state…" he explained to the attendant and the rather nicely sympathetic bespectacled young lady in heavy red coat…

"That's very efficient of you…But did you consider a neuropsychological evaluation of the benefit of stress reduction and mood enhancement?..." Amy suggested…

"I did, but I'm not experienced in the field and there wasn't time to do the research since we were only here for the day..."

"I would suggest checking the work of Margaret Fowler-Horowitz, it should provide a good basic theoretical underpinning…Please hurry, miss…"

"Thank you very much…I'll look into that…Ma'am?...My home and my college addresses are on the cover page…I've got to go…Please see the proper people receive that…" he urged, hurrying off…

"I am witness to the young man's filing that petition if you were considering dumping it in your waste basket…Ma'am…" Amy noted, fixing the attendant with a stare…

("It was Amy…" Sheldon stared… "That girl was Amy…"

"In the living if shadowy here flesh…" Penelope nodded…

"And that poor girl with her…The one on the train from here…The one MeeMaw said was an angel…"

"Her sister Charlotte…"

"And she…"

"No, she never forgot…Neither of them did…Angel boy…" smile…)


	9. Chapter 9

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part VIII…

("Sheldon…" Penelope sighed at the frowning face…Sheldon looking away…

"Dr. Cooper, we had to get a move on…Things to see, places to go…"

"I still don't see why we couldn't have gone on the train to Maine…" glare…

"Sheldon, I've told you before…This is not a vacation or an amusement park ride…This for your reclamation…"

"I can't see why I couldn't be reclaimed on a train…And Amy was on it…"

Eye roll…Patience, Penelope Minerva, patience…

"Anyway, I get it…I should remember how much Amy loves me and be nicer to her…Fine…Mission accomplished, lets go home…"

"Not yet…"

Glare…

Lord, Claire, was Bailey ever this much trouble?...

"Master Cooper, do you remember what your Paw Paw did to get your attention earlier?...Well, as a guardian angel, born long before political correctness was in vogue?...I can make that look like your friend Howard's efforts to impress women before he was saved by Saint Bernadette…And I should warn you I was given license to take severe measures if necessary with you…"

Hmmn…?

Oh…

"Very well, proceed…"

"Thank you…" demure bow…Smile…

"Moving right along…"

"Excuse me, what was that about Saint Bernadette?..." )

Penny's apartment…Dinner on the table…Penny in Santa suit…Leonard decked out as a Dickensian English gentleman of the 1840s…

Howard, Raj, Bernadette…Chuckling as Leonard continued… Bernadette in reindeer outfit, complete with Clarice bow…Raj, as Jack-in-the-Box toy from "Rudolph…", Howard, in Hannukah Harry outfit (hey, ya know…There is another holiday here…)

"So, he calls Christmas a humbug…" Leonard, shaking head… "And refuses to come…Lord, he's my best friend…Male…But sometimes, I do not know how that guy manages to survive in this world…"

"I'm ready to end his existence…Today…" Penny frowned…

(See my temper is carried on in the family…Penelope thought…

Well, Joseph, I don't think it a totally bad thing…It's even saved Claire trouble with a drunken lout or two on occasion…There was this one time, a fellow was giving him some trouble…Not that he couldn't have sent the lad off minus a few teeth, mind…But when I went for him with a burning brand, the lout couldn't have left fast…

Yes, I am minding it… Dr. Cooper is still here with me, eh?...I didn't dump him in the snows of the Midwest of America…)

"…I still can't reach poor Amy…That jerk needs a good Nebraska lesson in how to treat women…" frown…

"May I?..." Bernadette beamed at Howard who gave a little shrug…Well, sure…

"In the old days Howard would now ask you if you could give an example and volunteer to be your test dummy…" she grinned…Patting Howard's arm…

"Just givin' my honey a lil' belated Chanukah gift…" smile…

"Uh-huh…" Penny stared…

"Anyway, I'm gonna go over again and try to get her to come…She must be in there…"

"I dunno…She didn't come to the door even when you pounded…Couldn't she have left to go to her mother's or other family…?" Leonard asked…

"She'd have her cell…She'd answer…No, Leonard, I'm worried…Sheldon really hurt her this time…"

"Howie could take the door off its hinges if you like…That is, if picking the lock won't work…" Bernadette suggested…

"We ought to drag Sheldon along…" Penny frowned… "But whatever we do, lets do it now…I'm really getting worried for her, Leonard…Please?..."

"But I was all set for non-religiously themed Christmas games…" Raj objected…

"Soon as we see if Amy's ok, Raj…" Leonard noted…

("Penelope…?" Sheldon, gulping… "Tell me Amy's ok…Show me Amy…"

"I can't do that right now, Sheldon…" Penelope, coolly…

"I want to see Amy…Show me Amy…"

"When it's time…"

"Now!..." he grabbed her arm…

"Piss off, laddie!..." she jerked back, throwing him back… "This isn't a video game, Sheldon…You can't turn it off when you've screwed up and avoid the pain and consequence of your acts…And I am running the tour, not you, sir…"

He stared at her, but quieted…

"Good, then…We'll continue…"

How'm I doin' Joseph?…inward grin…

Oh, come now…I didn't hurt the lad…)

En route to Amy's apartment…

("Why are we walking?...The others are driving…Driving is faster…" Sheldon, insistent…

"Because, lad…I like to walk…And we're outside normal time, don't worry…We'll get there faster than your friends…"

"Amy's alright…She has to be alright…Why can't we get there faster?..."

"Why aren't you with her already?..." Penelope glared back…

"Right then…" she nodded at his stricken face… "Lets see your Pasadena, CA on Xmas Day…")

Streets full of happy people hurrying to church or to make last food/gift purchases at the few stores open…

("Can't get use to it being so mild on the 25th…" Penelope noted… "And no snow?...Pity…"

"Fine, fine…Could we pick it up?...Say, this isn't the way to Amy's now…"

"We've a modest detour…" Penelope, quietly… "I've told you I'm directing this tour…And time is not of the essence…For, Sheldon…" stern look…

"What's done is done…There are consequences for thoughtless acts, laddie…And regret is always a dish served cold…")


	10. Chapter 10

It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part IX…

("Where is this?..." Sheldon looked round…An entranceway to a small building…Christmas wreath on door… "This isn't Amy's place…I want to see Amy…You said this was about Amy…"

"It's about…Saving Amy from you…To be quite frank…" Penelope eyed him…

"Me?...Fine, I've behaved a little badly recently…But you must be aware I had cause…I'll fix things with Amy, case closed…"

"'Recently'?..." stare… "Not good enough, boy-o…I'm sorry but you're certain to revert back to most of your worst behavior as soon as the fear of loss wears off…We're seeking permanence here, laddie…Amy deserves no less…"

"I've learnt my lesson…I won't make Amy feel bad on Christmas…I'll log the day in my calendar on my computers, all of them…"

"Amy can't spend her life and shouldn't have to spend it apologizing for you being an arse, the other 364 days of the year, sir…Whatever the excuses for your behavior may be…Now you can either continue with me…Or I can send you home and see that you play no more role in making that poor sad lass suffer…Do you understand me, sir?..." stern eyeing…

Uh…"Yes, ma'am…"

"Good…I don't say we've made no progress, Master Cooper but we've a long, long way to go… Now as to your question…Follow me and you'll see the answer…" smile…Penelope heading up the stairs and through the solid door…

"Wait?...I'm only solid yet, I hope…I can't…" he yelped as she pulled him through the door…)

"Hey, guys…" Alix's cheery voice… "How are we all doin'?..."

(Uh…Sheldon stared…

"Tis ok, the lass can't see us…We're the shadows here…" Penelope noted…

"This is my assistant's place?..." Sheldon peered, the mist that had blurred his vision parting…Afterglow of the radiation emitted in shifting our molecules, Penelope explained…Perhaps just a bit smugly…

Fine…Yes, Claire did sneak in and help me with the notes…You already knew that, Joseph…No need to throw it up to me…Frown…

"Yes, Miss Alix's place…" she nodded…Looking round…

Hmmn… "Not bad…And Penny teased me that I probably paid her less than Scrooge to Bob Crachit…"

"You would if you could…Thank goodness for the university union…" Penelope frowned…

"Oooh, cats…" Sheldon beamed… "I'd no idea she had such good taste…"

"I'm strictly a hounds person myself…" Penelope noted… "We have four…Lovely big fellows…" contented smile… "Our Sallie can find a fox in the deepest forest.."

"I don't like big dogs…They always seem to want to chew on my throat…"

"Another good reason to mind me then, eh, lad?..." grin…

Frown to her grin…

"Anyway, what are we doing here?...Don't tell me I'm supposed to have ruined her life too?..."

"Tis an amazingly sharp and acute mind you have, master professor…Though p'haps 'ruined' is not quite the word…")

"Mommie's home!...How are you guys?..." Alix lifted one young white cat off the floor, stroking its fur…

"Felix, Barney!...Come here!..." she called to the other two, a calico and a tawny orange, both just pass kitteny cuteness…She pulling out a bag of dry food from a cabinet under her sink…

("Right, yes…She's a crazy cat lady and it's all my fault…Fine…I get it…Lets go…I want to see Amy…"

"Sheldon…Do you want to pay a visit to my home and meet my hounds?...Bearing hot dogs?..." Penelope eyed him…

"No…Ma'am…"

"Good then…")

Whistling…As she refilled several bowls with clean water from the sink…

("What's that on her refrigerator…?" Sheldon stared…

"What's a 'refrigerator'?...Remember I'm not completely up on your moderns, Sheldon…" Penelope noted… "Oh, you mean the iced cabinet?..."

"Is that a picture of Leonard on the door?..."

"Your best friend?...Mated to my descendant?...Hmmn…" she peered…

"I'm not well acquainted with the boy but I would say, yes…"

"Good Lord…She's a psycho!…I should have guessed, she had the look of one!.…Amy was nervous about her…Thank you for warning me…I'll tell Leonard at once when I'm back home…" he pondered…

"Though perhaps I should tell Penny…I think she'd be the better one to deal with her…"

"Dear God, boy…If she's like to me as I think…She'd leave nothing of the poor girl but her rotting carcass…And it's an innocent thing…A fancy…That, admittedly, could get…Twisted…And Amy was 'worried' for more practical reasons…"

"What are you saying?...I've never even considered…"

Hard stare…

"Boy…I love my Claire dearly and he loves me…But I know he can't help a little 'feelin' when another pretty lass crosses his 'field of vision'…"

So sorry, Joseph…Smug look…

"I never did anything…"

"True…Or this conversation would be takin' a very different course…And neither did my Clarence…Though I wisely always take… 'precautions'…There being no need to strain a good man's virtue any further than necessary…But you did 'notice' the lass…"

"Fine…I 'noticed'…" he made quotes in air… "…her…"

"Thank God…" Penelope grinned… "That just means you're actually human at that…You've had me worried, laddie…"

"All right…I'm 'human'…Till I can transfer my consciousness to an android body…So, are we done?...Where is Amy?..."

"Tis commendable in you that you're showin' concern for the lass at last…But we're not done with Mistress Alix yet, Master Cooper…")

"Back from Dr. Scrooge's office, guys…Boy, did he give me a load full of stuff last night at his place…And at Christmas, no less…" Alix sighed… "And not even a 'Merry Xmas', 'nice job', 'you slunk in very gracefully, wretch'…" grin…

("Hey…" Sheldon frowned… "And I allowed her an extra five minutes for lunch to do Christmas shopping last week…The thanks I get…")

"Now where's our Martha?..." Alix looked round… "Martha?...Are you hiding?...Martha?..." she walked to the bathroom down a couple of steps from the small kitchen…

Mew from the refrigerator top…

"Oh…There you are…You lil' sneak…" Alix beamed, reaching up…Martha, a black cat of medium age lept into her arms…

"I saw Leonard last evening, Martha…" she told the cat, stroking… "He's so sweet…I wish he'd look at me, really look, just once…I don't understand that girlfriend of his…How can she jerk him around like this?...Sheldon was telling me all about it, last week…Leonard keeps going back to her…She never commits…They break up…She gets scared and takes him back…It's awful…"

("I should point out I sound like a concerned, totally involved friend…" Sheldon noted…

"You're not…" Penelope, calmly… "You just like gossiping lots more than you give out…")

"Yello…" Alix had grabbed a buzzing phone… "Hey, Ma…No, I'm not on the road yet…Hmmn?...Uh, yeah…Yeah, I'll be heading out to meet my friends soon…Uh-huh…I'm sorry I couldn't come home this year but lots to do…"

("…'and a cheapskate boss'…" Penelope…)

"…But I'll be having dinner with my friends…" smile at the cats clustering round… "Uh, yes, my wonderful boss, Dr. Cooper and all the rest…Dr. Hofstadter and their friends…Our friends…"

("What?..." Sheldon stared… "Oh, she is truly not all there, as my mom would say…"

"She's just trying to convince her mom she has friends and a place to go on Christmas Day…" Penelope frowned… "You might remember she's only been at Cal Tech a short time and some nut of a boss who keeps her constantly busy to try and keep up with him…"

"Forgive me for demanding my assistant meet my standards…And there's this strange fixation on Leonard…"

"Hardly strange…Dr. Hofstadter's a sweet lad and my descendant has to either realize it is up to her to live her dreams whether she takes him or no or decide she must make a clean break with a man she should but doesn't love enough to stay with…Though perhaps Mistress Alix is a bit too concerned with him in her loneliness…And your 'standards' included having her wait at the comic book store for eight hours the other day for a new tome's delivery..."

"Excuse me, but her job description includes, and I quote 'various miscellaneous duties'…"

Hee-hee…Penelope chuckled… "Sorry, lad…I was just remembering what Claire did to one of me tavern masters who had similar ideas about the range of my duties…")

"What?..." Alix regarded the cats staring at her coolly as she waited on the phone for her mother to fetch other relatives to speak… "My dears…Mom…Christmas Day…"

("Is that cat clawing at my reference notes?..." Sheldon stared…)


	11. Chapter 11

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part X…

"Now you guys…" Alix, phone closed, reproving frown at the line of sour-faced cats… "There'd be no fancy feast without Dr. Cooper, so lets remember it's Christmas Day and hope he and his friends have a nice holiday…Especially that sweet Leonard and nice Dr. Fowler…"

(Well…? Sheldon, smug look… "I see no problems here…Indeed I seem a positive force in someone's life…"

Penelope, eye roll… "The woman is defending you to cats, Sheldon…And you've encouraged her to pursue fantasies of your best friend…"

"What?..."

"You tole her Penny wasn't sure about continuing with Leonard, when any idiot could've seen the poor lamb has herself a burning coal in her fireplace for the boy…"

"I never encouraged her…"

"Sheldon, you forget I have more access to you and your thoughts than you'd care admit…You deliberately encouraged that poor lonely girl because you're jealous of easily Leonard handles his relationships and of how Amy sees him succeeding in doing all the things for Penny which she longs for you to do for her…"

"Jealous?...Oh, pshaw…Leonard's managed some minor bedroom tactics, I grant you…But…"

"I'm not talking about relations that way, Master Cooper…I mean that Leonard has not had any problem telling Mistress Penny that he loves her…"

"Fat lot of good that did him…" Sheldon noted, with frown…

"So you admit it…"

"I just mean…Getting all 'love you, marry me' and physical didn't make any easier for him…Penny is still rejecting him…"

"She hasn't rejected him, the lass is just 'uncertain'…It took five proposals by Claire to wear me down…"

"And you're saying I deliberately set Alix at him…?"

"Not consciously…But more or less, yes…You're trying to show Amy Leonard's not as perfect as a lover in the matters of spirit as she thinks…You are jealous of your friend, Sheldon…And jealously fearful of losing him, the one person besides Amy who has been willing to try and understand you freely…All the others, even my descendant, Mistress Penny, required you making an effort to prove yourself, however feeble…But not Leonard and not Amy…They opened their hearts to you immediately, saw something worthy in you, your best parts…Now as you fail Amy, you want Leonard to be deprived of his real chance for happiness as well so he won't leave you all alone…"

"I told him I wouldn't go to Christmas Day dinner, hardly the act of a man who doesn't want the invitor to abandon him…" Sheldon, insistent…

"Abandon, eh?..." shrewd look…

"I mean…Uh…"

"That wedding night with poor Amy he treated her as you should've…And you know and knew it then…And you're jealous…Not that Leonard might take her from you…Though that thought has crossed your consciousness…They would be a good match…"

"They most certainly would not…And it has not…Much…Besides, I staked my position as Amy's alpha male with a judo chop…I was very clear, no need of such shenanigans…"

"As I say, it's not the physical you fear, Master Cooper…Well, not the physical from Leonard's point of view…"

"What's that supposed to mean?..." anxious look…

"You think I don't know what happened?..." stare… "Sheldon, I've been watching you for a while…"

"What, there's no supernatural restrictions on surveillance ?"

"You ever hear tell otherwise, sir?..."

"It was a mistake…I was just…"

"Yes…So you told Amy…And have been doing your insensitive, yet desperate best to go on telling her…While, in the meantime…The poor girl has had something to tell you…Which you already know, don't you?..." frown…

"I don't want to talk about this…Where's Amy?...There's no point in our being here…Alix is just my assistant…"

"There's every point, Sheldon…This girl is someone you're responsible for…Someone a man like Leonard would try to encourage and help…Instead, Master Cooper, you not only don't help her, you use her to ensure Amy has no one she might turn to in her hour of need…Least of all, you…"

"Meemaw had just…It wasn't my fault…" he paced the room…Stepping through Alix and her sofa…

"That's very disconcerting that I can do that…Can't you make that stop?..."

"Sheldon…Amy's waited so long…And finally…Finally…She thought you were turning to her…And you were, but so soon as you feared it might mean you'd have to give back instead of taking…Now that you have to face a commitment…"

"I committed to the Relationship Agreement…Why couldn't she've been happy with that?..."

Smile, shaking of head…Stare… "Because you clearly weren't…")

"Maybe I could call Leonard later and see if he'd be willing to help me with some of this…He's very sympathetic about Dr. Cooper's demands on me…" Alix eyed Martha who licked a paw with a slightly sour look…

"Don't look at me that way…Martha…It's Christmas…I'd just like to see him…"

("What is that?..." Sheldon stared, looking round…

"The Dark One's…What is his name?...Ah, Darth Vader…His song from "Star Wars"…Very foreboding, 'tisn't?..."

"Bit clichéd, I'd say…So this is some sort of fatal romance turning point here…?"

"Alix will invite Leonard over…He will come, wanting to make up for your behavior and guessing how lonely she is…She'll tell him what you told her Penny said…A desperate attempt to win him…He won't believe it but when he confronts Penny and she panics…Feeling trapped…"

"Well…They've had that happen before…A few months, a year…"

"Your second best, non-girlfriend, friend and my descendent Penny, who did so much to help you and Amy, will kill herself in six months over losing Leonard…In a car 'accident' that will be quickly proven not so…" Penelope eyed him… "Leonard will marry Alix but he'll blame her for what then happened…Not consciously but…Three more lives destroyed, thanks very much…"

"Penny?...Kill herself over Leonard?…Please…"

"That's exactly the remark you'll make that will push her over the edge…And you'll mean to hurt her…Because of Amy and your need to strike back at your friends for not saving her from you…"

"Amy?...No…"

"We have to see more…Come on…" she frowned at him… "You wanted to leave, now lets go…" she pulled at him…He jerked back…

"No!...If you're Amy's guardian, why didn't you protect her?!...Why didn't you stop me from…Whatever?...Why are you helping me and not her?..."

"Perhaps I'm doing that right now, laddie…" she eyed him…"And whoever said I was helping you…?")


	12. Chapter 12

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XI…

Bob Hope Airport, Burbank, CA…Christmas Day…

("Is this the airport…?" Sheldon looked round… "What are we doing here?...You said we were going to see Amy…"

"I said nothing of the kind, lad…" Penelope eyed him… "I said we were off to our next destination…But, if you'd stop fuming and fussing…"

"Amy…" he stared at the figure slumped in plastic chair…A sad Santa Baby in red and white…Bag by her side…

"What is she doing?...Where is she going?...Amy?!...Amy?!..."

"She's off to visit the one person who'd understand her grief…" Penelope noted… "Though unfortunately not the best choice…"

"What?...Amy?!...I'm here!...Wait!...This is a mistake!...I'm sorry if I didn't show you my usual earnest concern and sympathy, I was still upset…Amy!..." Sheldon turned to face Penelope…"You!...Make her see me!...Restore me to normal space!..."

"No…" Penelope, coolly… "I wouldn't if I could…"

"Amy!..." he tried again… "Amy, I'm sorry…" He whirled again on Penelope, standing calmly by… "You let her see me!...I'm sorry…That should be enough…"

"It's not…" cold tone…

"Where is she going?..." He looked to the departure sign at the nearby gate…

"Paris?...Why is she going to Paris?...Is Leonard taking her?!..."

"Nice idea…But no, your friend Leonard and my counterpart and your other friends are knocking very anxiously on her door right now…Amy's off to see her sister in France…"

"The one I called an angel?...Isn't she dead?...Her symptoms looked pretty grim back then…"

"Not only not dead, but beautiful…And quite successful…Though, sadly…Not the sweet angel she once was…Thanks in part to you…" Penelope, carefully…

"Now that's just too unfair… 'in part to [me]'…?" he frowned… "What in the Lord's name did I do except be nice to her that day?..."

"Perhaps in this case, just a bit unfair…But if you'd been a decent and loving boyfriend…Shown Amy what you felt…All this might have been settled years ago…Though it's true Charlotte's sadly twisted character is largely her own doing…But a loving brother-in-law could have helped…"

"Why is Amy going to her?..."

"Where else can she go?...Her grandmother is very old and wouldn't know about you…Her mother…Please…A block of wood or poor Leonard's mother would be of more help…And she's kept hoping Charlotte's allusions to her delight in tormenting her lovers and their lovers is just talk…"

"And how is this my fault?..." Sheldon, glaring…

"Charlotte and Amy love the angel they met on that train…And swore that one of them would win your heart one day…Having, from their grandmother and greataunt, no lack of appreciation of what they could offer a good man with sense enough to appreciate a Fowler lass…Charlotte meant, honestly, to let Amy have you but when Amy didn't come to rescue her in France…And didn't agree with her as to taking vengeance on all those who'd judged her solely on her outward appearance…And told her she'd tracked their beloved angel to the great California Institute of Technology…"

"Amy tracked me to Cal Tech?...But…"

"She was afraid to meet you until that night she found Rajesh and Howard's profile of you online on that dating service…Then she gave it a shot but never mentioned the past or revealed her obsession with you until later…You did notice she rather quickly took to you and tolerating your many, many foibles…?" Penelope stared…

"What foibles?..."

Eye roll…Patience, patience…Oh, I am that Patience on the Monument, you hear tell of…

Why, thanks, Joseph…Beam…

She put up a hand…Please…

"The point is, lad…Charlotte learned Amy had found you…And in her despair and sorrow over being abandoned in France, came to believe, over the years, that Amy had deliberately abandoned her…Joining the rest of her family…First to steal their grandmother's love for herself, now to capture you…And Charlotte, poor child, is not someone to take that sort of thing easily…Particularly…"

"Particularly?..."

Oh…He blinked…

"Oh!...You can't let her get on that plane!..."

"Not up to me…" Penelope, coolly… "And if she'd be like to do it…She'd better…And rid you of the bother, eh?...Arsehole…"

"What will that sister of hers do?..."

"When she learns the truth of why Amy is fleeing her home?...Of what you did?...Lets just say I only wish she'd kill you…" Penelope, grimly… "There are much worse things than physical harm, Sheldon…Though with Charlotte, one never knows…"

"I didn't mean for this to happen…"

"Words, Sheldon…Tis a pity you aren't raised a Catholic, lad…We'd hammer it into you…Deeds, boy…Deeds…"

"I said I was sorry…I'll make it up to Amy…I'll go to Paris and get her…"

"You?...You dropped out of sight that Christmas Eve…You're out of the picture, laddie…You're nothing here…One with the universe, as you always bellowed you wanted…Above the fray, no longer troubled by such petty nonsense…"

"Oh…" he nodded…

"Sheldon!..." Penelope glared… "Lord, boy!...Does your loved one mean so little to you?...Charlotte may not hurt her physically but she'll make her remaining time on this world enough of a living hell to drive her to…"

Sheldon staring…

"And as for your daughter…" she eyed him…


	13. Chapter 13

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XII…

("Now breathe, laddie…" Penelope stopped her steady pounding on the gasping Sheldon's back… "Deep breaths, boy-o…Good…"

"My…What…"

"Master Professor Cooper…" sly grin… "Surely an educated modern man as yourself knows what can befall a maid when she lies with a man, particularly a young man with no missing…Physically…Parts?...Particularly if the poor lass is loving and eager…"

"Amy is what…?" gasp…

"With child we called it in my day…When polite…Though those men of the lower sort might call it…"

"Pregnant…But…"

"What?...First time out, a home run?..." grin… "I've become rather partial to baseball watching with Claire and the boys over the years…When we finally have our first daughter, during our reincarnation in the next…Hmmn…I think we're due in twenty years…I intend to teach her the love of the game, though nothing will ever equal the love of a Red Sox fan before we finally retook the Series…What?...I'm New England born and bred, laddie…The family didn't move to the great plains till the mid 1860s…"

Sheldon staring blankly…

"What…Wait…You're saying that's what Amy wanted to tell me Christmas Eve?..."

"Why no, she thought she'd just had a tummy rumble…Of course that's what she wanted to tell you, arsehole!..."

"A daughter…"

"Whom she's naming for your Meemaw…And her grandmother…Nice, eh?..."

"I didn't…"

"Bullcrap…" a stern-eyed Penelope waved a hand…

Hmmn…

"Thanks, Joseph…My superior just wanted to let you know the management upstairs totally approves my use of strong language…" Leaning forward to him… "Though I would appreciate your not mentioning it to Claire or my boys…He's heard the occasional rough word fall from me but I try to be ladylike in their presence…"

"But…"

"You knew, lad…Why else were you so desperate to avoid her…You guessed, at least…With your usual mathematical precision…And I believe if I looked I'd find you'd had your sperm count checked in past few days after your little encounter…No, Master Dr. Cooper, you'd guessed almost to certainty and were sure when you saw Amy so eager to sing you her happiness…Bastard…"

Sorry, sir…That was a bit much…But I've not belted him…Yet…

"Forgive me…Coward would be the better word…"

"I never meant…"

"Call this a modern era…" she rolled her eyes… "You know, I actually believe you there, you manchild…Most of your era actually do believe it will never happen to them till it does…Good Lord, boy…In my day we thought things through…We knew what could happen and a good man was expected to do his duty and did…Or a lass was expected to have the sense to know the consequences of being with a bad one…Oh, Lord…But Dr. Fowler loved you and preferred to take the chance…"

"I was upset over Meemaw…"

"Ok, we're done…" Penelope frowned…

"What?..."

"Sheldon…When you resort to makin' excuses for your behavior…When your first thought here after hearing this isn't…Poor Amy, what can I do?...But oh, it's not my fault, I was weepin' over my grandmother and the lass made me do it…" glare… "Then I wash me hands of you…I'll do what I can for Amy…"

"What…Wait…!"

"You wanted to be out of the world, you're out…You can stay here, outside the world in your own little haven and doing your arithmetic…"

"Physics…"

"Whatever…I really like that word, you know my descendant uses it quite a bit…Very elegantly expressively, Claire says…"

"You can't just leave me here?!..."

"The way you left Amy?…" thin smile… "Oh, laddie…I told you…I'm not here to help you…You're not my client…Just the biggest obstacle in her life…But you'll find a place to do your doodling and things to write with…"

"Please…" Sheldon grabbed at her arm…She eyeing him coolly…

"I think I made it clear earlier how I dislike a man handling me without my leave?..."

He released… "Please…I want to help Amy…Please…You didn't waste all this time on me just to end it here…Oh, she's leaving…")

Amy in seat, eyeing departure board…Rising with bag…

("I dunno…Makin' you suffer a little seems fair sport to me…" Penelope beamed…

"But my daughter…You have to stop her!…"

"Abandoned by her father…An icy worthless fellow who vanished before her birth…Her mother trying to shelter her from an aunt who seems the most loving in the world but is Miss Havisham to her Estella in truth…Determined to poison her soul as hers was poisoned, for jealousy of Amy and bitter love for you…See, lad…You can't be out of the picture without harming others…And the lass will grow up that way, her mother shunted off and eventually proving to her daughter that love is helpless and powerless in her suicide…"

"No…Amy won't…She wouldn't…"

"She assumed you departed this world when no one heard of you…Blamed herself for making you do so, out of fear of having…What?...To care for another human being as so many have cared for Sheldon Lee Cooper?…After all, Shelly…What's your excuse?...Didn't your parents have you tested…?"

"Meemaw…?" he stared at the figure now before him…)


	14. Chapter 14

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XIII…

[I go with Patty Duke as Meemaw, myself…But feel free…]

By the Air France departures gates at Bob Hope International Airport, Burbank, CA…

("Meemaw?!...Where's…" Sheldon stared…

"The girl had to get her family's Christmas Eve dinner on her table…Sorry if we startled you but the world can't stop for you all the time, Shelly…" shake of head, brush of white hair…Sigh…

"Is that Amy?...Your mama showed me her picture once…" she looked over at the sad-faced figure standing by the departure gate for Air France's next flight to Paris…

"Meemaw…"

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, I'm disappointed in you…And your Paw-paw may go easy on you, considering how long it's been since he's had a chance to see his young Edison, I'm not about to let you off so easily…" she pushed a pair of large spectacles in metal frame back on her nose…Folding arms…

"Well?...What have you got to say for yourself?..."

"Meemaw…We have to stop Amy from boarding that plane!…Can't you get me to her?!...I'll fix things!..."

"Didn't the young lady explain, Shelly?...We're the shadows here…I'm afraid not, honey…" sigh…"Poor thing…She worked hard on that costume and song, Sheldon…" stern eyeing… "And I am here to tell you, it's not easy to that sort of thing when you're in your first stages of morning sickness…"

"Please, Meemaw…You have to help me…Amy can't go to France…I can't let her go now…"

"And why is she going…With my great-grandchild…?"

"I was bad…I hurt her…I didn't mean to…Meemaw, she's the girl I should stay on the roller coaster with…"

Smile… "So you remember my advise, now…" frown… "But a little slow on it in the practical application…Oh, honey…" shake of head… "Why did you let that girl go?...Didn't anything I ever tole you ever sink in?..."

"I tried to be nice to her…Meemaw…I wanted to be…But everyone wants so much…I don't know how…"

Hard stare… "Sheldon…I've known you since you were born and if you are going to tell me that you being smart and not wanting to be like your daddy means you can't show a fine girl and the people who love you how much you love them…Well, you can throw any fancy medical or other term at me but I won't accept it…You were a loving boy, Shelly…When did you get so afraid of people, even the people who love you?..."

"Everyone goes away, Meemaw…Amy's going…You and Pawpaw and Daddy went…No one stays…I know when they go they're gone…"

"Even seeing me here right now?..."

"I could be dreaming…I probably am…" Ummn… "But, please don't do what Pawpaw did to convince me…I accept that you're here…"

"That's good…" Penelope cut in…Suddenly visible a few feet away… "Say, thanks so much for taking over on short notice…" she addressed Meemaw… "I didn't want to let my turkey burn…"

"Not a problem, sweetie-pie…" Meemaw nodded… "Did you have a nice Christmas Eve?..."

"Oh, very nice…It's our family time…We have the guests on Christmas day…"

"Excuse me…" Sheldon…

"We're talking, Shelly…" Meemaw eyed him… "And this nice lady has put off her time with her family to help you so it behooves you to show her what…?"

"A little consideration…" he sighed…

"Thank you, lad…He's not a bad boy in most things, ma'am…" Penelope noted… "However…" frown…

"Indeed…" Meemaw joining in frown…

"I've said I was sorry…" Sheldon shrugged, waving hands… "If you'd help me, I'd stop Amy now…Meemaw…"

"The damage was done before we got here, Shelly…"

"I didn't mean to, ma'am…" he noted, nervously… "I was very lonely…When you died, ma'am…"

"If you mean, get her in the family way, Shelly…I don't mind that…That's your mama's concern if it bothers her…So long as you do your duty and treat the girl right…And you love her truly, I'm fine with it…Sides, I understand the poor thing was never so happy and that's never a bad thing…Till you went and broke her lil' heart…"

"I didn't know, Meemaw…I guessed, as Miss Penelope said…But…"

"Shelly…I don't know what's gone wrong in that wonderful brain of yours along the way but something is discombobulated in there and you have got to use that brain and figure out what…Now, do you love that poor child?..."

"Well…She's my girlfriend…I drew up and signed a Relationship Agreement…"

"And he judochopped his best friend when he got jealous of him and her…" Penelope noted, with smile…

"That's good but not what I asked…Shelly?...Do you love Amy?..."

"I've never met anyone like her…She understands me, sort of…Yes, Meemaw…" he nodded…A blink of wonder… "I think I do…"

"Think?..." Penelope frowned…

"Mrs. Oddbody…" Meemaw put up a hand… "Well, Shelly…As Mrs. Oddbody just hinted…That's not quite it…But it's a start…Come on…" she put out her hand to him… "Lets go…"

"But Amy…" glance to the forlorn figure now in boarding line…She looking round as if almost expecting…Hoping…

"Meemaw, I think she knows I'm here…I have to speak to her…"

"Shelly…We're moving through time back and forth…Amy will be fine for now…What matters is what we can do with you, honey…Now mind and lets go see where my Moonpie lost his courage…")

"Hello?..." Amy grabbing at her buzzing cell phone… "Oh…Hello, bestie…" downcast look…

("Meemaw?..." Sheldon stared…

"Do you trust your Meemaw or no, Shelly?..." hard stare… "Well, she promises that everything can be made right if you're up to the job…So lets to it, ok?..."

"Yes, ma'am…"

"So do you roast your bird on a spit, Mrs. Oddbody?..." Meemaw asked… "I've not had spit turkey since I was a very little girl…Always lovely to remember, the bird always came out so nice and juicy…"

"Oh, yes…My boys are used to it and we like a good fire roasting…" Penelope noted happily…Sheldon sighing…

But, if Meemaw says it will be alright…)

University of Texas at Austin…

Offices of the Physics Department…

("You remember this place?..." Meemaw asked as Sheldon looked round…

"Remember it?...I could probably find my way around it…I was a grad student here…" he beamed…

"That means he liked it here…" she smiled at a beaming Penelope…

"Ahhh…Dr. Brown's office…" he stared…At the office of Dr. Emmet Brown, Ph.D. Sc.D…

"And there's my Moonpie…" Meemaw, fondly…)

Bang at office door…

Not a knock by the young Sheldon, aged just over 11, staring at the door…A bang from inside…

"Dr. Brown?..." young Sheldon called…

"Sheldon!..." the door burst open… "Come in, come in!..." quick yank…

"Sandy out?...Good…" Dr. Brown, finishing his query as to his secretary's whereabouts before young Sheldon could answer…

"What was the banging, Dr. Brown?..."

"Oh, that?...Oh, nothing…" Brown shrugged, jerkily… "I was trying to measure the impact velocity of my son's water cannon…So, Sheldon?..." he pulled a chair over, indicating for Sheldon, now glancing round the office, a model of disarray, to sit… "What's up?...Everything going well?...You settling in ok?..."

"I think so, sir…" Sheldon nodded… "Workwise…Though I need more time on the University computer…Couldn't some of the undergraduates do their classes somewhere else?...Like on paper…It's not like they really get any sensible use out of the system…"

"Agreed, Cooper, agreed…" Brown nodded fervently… "But they do pay tuition so we have to let them have class lab time…But I'll see what I can do…Now, we were going to discuss your thesis topic, weren't we?...Oh, wait…" he pulled up sharply… "I was asking about how you were doing and you only mentioned the work…" sudden careful eyeing… "Well?..."

Shrug… "I don't care about the other stuff…I'm here to do my science…"

"I see…" narrowly shrewd look… "Sheldon…You are the youngest student here right now, excepting the Chancellor's idiot nephew in History…And it's bound to be a difficult adjustment…That only stands to reason, bound out by the latest sociological research, correct?..."

"If one can call it 'research'…" Sheldon, smugly…

"Such work has its place, Cooper…" Brown shook his head… "But you do accept the more valid studies?..."

"There is some reasonably well done work…Margaret Fowler-Horowitz did an interesting paper I read…She's the one that girl told me to look up…I told you about her?..."

"Oh…Yes…" Brown nodded… "The mystery girl on the train with the Proteus Syndrome/Elephant Man sister…I remember…" shrewd look… "Pretty, eh?..."

"If one takes stock of that sort of thing, I guess so…"

"You guess so, eh?...Did you get her number?..."

"No…I only met her twice, at the station and on the train…"

"Cooper…Twice?...Well, you're young yet…But never let a chance variable like that escape you…The Universe does not allow third chances without some expenditure of energy…Now as to the situation here…Have you made any friends…?"

"I have a roommate…He's extremely stupid and always bringing girls in…I've asked the administration for a single room…"

"I take it you two don't get on…"

"I've tried…" shrug… "The guy just stares at me when I try to engage in witty repartee or serious discussion…Dumbed down, of course…It's the same as back home…"

"Hmmn…Cooper, did you ever consider letting him speak?..."

"Him?...Speak?...Why?...He's got nothing to say…"

Brown, hand to forehead… "Sheldon, I'm a divorced father of two…And both my sons are, quite frankly…Not going to win Nobels anytime in this existence… But I've found that they actually enjoy talking on subjects they know something about…And if I try to listen, I even find I enjoy talking to them…I even learn something…In fact in their own way, they stimulate my intellect…Take this water cannon for instance…" he went over to his desk…Patting a large water cannon toy on it…

"My oldest boy is getting this for Christmas…And I found common ground with him discussing it…Me wanting to figure out a theory of possible random vectors to which its exspelled output could be directed…He wanting to know which way to fire off the hardest spray to hit his brother with…Which, considering I can apply that to his mother, is yet another source of common ground…"

"I don't see the point, Dr. Brown…"

"Sheldon…What I'm saying is…Even with people who are not functioning at our level in Physics or Mathematics we can hope to find some level of common ground…For example, you enjoy 'Star Trek' don't you?..."

"When I was a kid…" Sheldon, carefully…

Hard stare…

"I like it…"

"As do I…And yet, if we were to analyze the science in the program…"

"I couldn't do that…I could never watch it again…"

"Yes…And to counter that we do what?..."

"Pretend it makes sense and ignore the stuff that's ridiculous…"

"Exactly…And that's what you need to do with your roommate…And most of the student body…And a good percentage of the faculty…"

"But I'd be lying to fit in…I don't want to do that…Why can't they just accept that I'm smarter and more intellectually capable…?"

"When you met the femme fatale on that train…And her sister…Did you tell her you were smarter and more intellectually capable?..."

"I'd just met her…And Meemaw was with me…"

"So you found valid excuses to avoid the situation…"

"Besides…She seemed quite intellectually capable…"

"And yet you didn't get her number…Or her address, I presume?..."

"Meemaw was there…And I'm only 11…"

"Yet shrewd enough to avoid putting the young lady off…" smile… "Sheldon, you're a charming boy and you know what you have to do to make people like you…Just try and do it…Occasionally, when it doesn't interfere with your work…Anyway..." Beam… "It's Christmas Eve, Doctoral candidate Cooper…And I believe you have a date for our party here and dinner at my home…No excuses taken and no more shop to talk…"

"Dr. Brown?..." a pretty brunette head leaned in from partly opened door…

"Ms. Sandrewski…."bow… "I was just telling our young prodigy here that it is Christmas Eve and time…If I can get away with mentioning time without another 'Emmett Brown and time travel' joke…We were closing up here and getting our party started…"

"Indeed it is, Dr. B…" Ms. Sandrewski… Sandra by first name…Beaming…Entered the room…A lovely, lithe young woman…Sheldon staring at her…

"Come on, future boy…" she grinned at him… "Help me set up for the party…And you too, there, 'Doc Brown'…"

"Ay, time's awastin…Come on 'Marty'…" Brown grinned taking Sheldon's hand… "No more of this worrying about the structure of time and space…We are in the Christmas dimension for the duration…"

("Your advisor, Dr. Brown…" Meemaw smiled… "A very sweet man…And he was fond of you…"

"I'll not deny it, ma'am…He was very kind to me…"

"Nice girl…" Penelope noted…

"I think she was his girlfriend…" Sheldon sighed… "And that got him in trouble…His wife had named her in the divorce and the university let them both go…"

"It must have been very hard to lose a friend like that while trying to fit in here…" Penelope eyed him…

"It's what people do to you when you try to love them…"

"But I doubt Dr. Brown would've said that…I think he loved that girl very much from what you used to write me in your letters and when I saw him with you that time I came up to campus…" Meemaw smiled…

"She didn't stay with him…He had a heart attack and died that year…" Sheldon noted…

"I doubt you knew the details, Shelly…Maybe she couldn't stay…And he might have had the attack even if all that happened hadn't happened…"

"He taught me all about the structure of time…He was my friend…We used to say we'd travel in time one day if we could ever get enough power…We were like the characters in 'Back To The Future…' he called me Marty…" gripping hands…

"You never did watch that film after he died, did you, Shelly?..." Meemaw, kindly…

"No…")


	15. Chapter 15

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XIV…

University of Texas at Austin…Physics Department demo lab B…

Now emptied of equipment and decorated for Christmas…Molecular model balls used as Christmas ornaments…A couple of lasers converted to red and green and white and blue strobe lights, along with Rudolph, Santa, and Hanukkah Harry laser displays reflecting on one wall…Whiteboards decorated with elves and poinsettias…

"Lets go join the natives…" the man in 60's executive business suit, tiny tie, urged…

"Why not?...They seem friendly enough…" the pert brunette in uniform noted…

"Don't you believe it…In a few moments, there'll be human sacrifices… White collar workers tossed into their computing machines and punched full of those little square holes…" Camera shot opening to a huge office hall filled with drunkenly celebrating staff, all in black-and-white…

"Now there's an office Christmas party…" Dr. Brown grinned at the television screen, patting Sheldon…

"Frenzied joy, true love finding itself, and a little alcohol to lubricate…"

"Here, here…" urp… one of his post-doctoral students, from Pakistan, noted…

"Enjoying the 'soda', Kanar…?" Sandra teased…Kanar, sheepish beam…

A crowd of rather increasingly drunk, merry grad, undergrad students, postdocs, and faculty swarming about the refreshments table…Several playing handheld games quickly dissuaded by either Dr. Brown or Ms. Sandrewski…A few engaged in attempting carols…

"Deck the Halls with boughs of faley, fa ra ra ra…Lord, I can't do it…" Xu Ling, another post doc, tall and lanky, chuckling at the other television where the Chinese restaurant Christmas dinner from "A Christmas Story" was now playing…

"It's racist anyway…" his partner, a young Asian grad student from the Psych department frowned…

"You haven't heard my granddad sing…" he grinned… "Come on, your dad was going on about black devils from Africa living in his home town the other night…It's Christmas Eve…Hey, supergenius…" he smiled at Sheldon, now carefully slipping at soda, watching "The Apartment" from a chair next to the refreshments table…Dr. Brown eagerly greeting a range of visitors while continually returning to Sheldon…

"You and 'Doc Brown' figure out the flux capacitor yet?..."

"We're hard at it…" Brown noted, merrily in passing…Sheldon frowning…

"If anyone can, you two can…" Xu, kind smile to Sheldon… "That was great work on those string models, Cooper, seriously…You're going places, kid…"

"And right now he's going on the dance floor, with the Sandrewski…" Sandra beamed, taking his hand… "He being the only person in this department who can dance…Xu, you guys ready?..."

Xu beaming, hurrying over to where his violin case stood propped…Calling several others, similarly armed with instruments over…They quickly setting up as another student completed hooking up the sound system…

"I can dance…" Brown noted… "Me too…" "Dude…?" several others perking up…

"Let me finish…" Sandra, putting up a hand with grin to the now grinning Sheldon… "…can dance…Well…C'mon, pardner…" she pulled Sheldon along…

Dr. Brown bowing formally to a thin, bespectacled girl… "Ma'am?...If I may?..."

"Thank you…" Amy nodded…Staring over to Sheldon now in the middle of the hall floor with Ms. Sandrewski…Other couples quickly joining them…

(Sheldon staring…

"She had to go to undergraduate school somewhere, Shelly…Though right then she'd only just been accepted…" Meemaw smiled… "Of course she probably could have made it to grad school as fast as you, her gran felt she should experience a few full years of college…Though she'd no idea Amy's desire to go and do early start at Austin that spring wasn't merely to escape her mother and the pain of losing Charlotte…")

"Lets show 'em how it's done, Sheldon…" Sandra urged… "Xu, I feel like a waltz…How's about this African-American Irish girl showing Scarlett how it's done… Maestro, 'The Southern Belle Waltz' if you please…" Xu nodding, with bow…

("Nice waltzing, boy-o…" Penelope smiled… "And look at Amy go with your friend…Of course your attention was on the very pretty secretary, I see…"

"You had a nice group there, Shelly…" Meemaw noted, smiling at the partyers… )

Dr. Brown bowing to Amy and coming to take Sandra from Sheldon…Sheldon reluctantly taking the arm of an eager grad student who fussed over him…Amy watching a moment from near the door…Leaving before he could glance round to see her…

("Sandra ruined Dr. Brown's life…And Xu took Dr. Brown's office after he was fired…" Sheldon, a trace of bitterness… "And Dr. Brown's wife stole his work when they were married and hounded him to death after the divorce…That's what trusting people gets you…They steal everything or they hurt you or they leave you…"

"Amy never did that…You left her…" Meemaw eyed him… "And I doubt Dr. Brown regrets a moment he had with that nice girl…By the way, she didn't leave him, Sheldon…He sent her away, to protect her from the scandal…And she was there when he died, regardless…"

"Leonard's never done that…" Penelope noted… "And however you speak, I note you keep trying to find people you can love…Badly as you manage it…A saving grace…"

"I don't know…Sometimes, I want to…" pause… "I should have invited Alix to dinner…" Sheldon sighed…

"Oh?..." Meemaw eyed him…

"It was the right thing to do even if I was mad at everyone for being happy with you gone, Meemaw…Dr. Brown never let his problems keep him from making us happy…He always took care for me…And all of us…"

"You weren't mad at your friends, Shelly…" Meemaw, quietly… "But you didn't feel right being angry at me for leaving you…Still, might be best if you were, right now…"

"I'm not angry at you, ma'am…" he looked at her, nervous…

"I was surely was angry at Pawpaw for leaving me all alone…" she smiled… "Silly as it was…It's not wrong to be so, Sheldon…It's just how you feel and something to get over…Mrs. Oddbody, could Shelly and I have a moment?..."

"Certainly…I'll take another coffee with Clarence…" Penelope smiled, vanishing…

"So?..." Meemaw eyed him… "Tell me…"

"Why'd you have to go, Meemaw…?" he sighed… "Why couldn't you stay?...Why does everything change?...And everyone go?..."

"Entropy, Sheldon…" she smiled… "You taught me that word, Moonpie…And it's a good word…Everything must go on to an end, really…Change is a part of life…"

"I don't like it…" firmly…

"Good luck with that…" she grinned at him… "You know I see your friend Leonard and I have a lot in common…He's a wise young man in his way and takes no guff from you, even though he loves you, like me…"

"He'll go…Penny…"

"Who, against your inclinations, you've come to love too…As she's a great-hearted girl, if a little unsure of herself…Oh, Shelly…Can't you see how lucky you've been…Every step you've taken in life…Someone to love you…Whereas poor Amy…In spite of being alone, truly alone…In ways you've never been…Has never questioned that love was out there and worth goin' after…In short, honey…You've been bellyaching…And what do we do about bellyachin'…?"

"We stop it…" he sighed…

"That's right…Oh…" she glanced over… "Your friends are having a nice time…"

He glanced to see the University Physics Lab/party room gone and the room was now again Penny's apartment…)

The gang seated at table, Leonard attempting to finish carving a turkey…Penny passing the plates round…

("He's not got the knack, has he?..." Meemaw noted…"Sawin' against the grain…That used to drive Pawpaw crazy…")

"Ok…" Bernadette, beaming… "Time for dreidel spin…"

"Bernie…We don't have to be pc to please me…" Howard noted… "I'm fine with the whole Xmas thing, especially since it's now mostly the pagan end of things…Fa la la la la…" grin to Leonard…

"I'm up for dreidel…" Raj noted…

"Ok, but if I may revert to my dark past…I'd like something in the pot a bit more interesting than cash…" Howard, raising eyebrows at Bernadette…

"He means something sexual…" she explained contentedly… "Ok, one piece of clothing for each lost spin…"

Penny frowning…Leonard attempting nonchalance…Hmmn, interesting notion…

"Actually…I just meant kisses…" Howard stared…

"Please, it's Christmas…I can do 'kisses' any day of the week…"sly smile…

Slight groan from Raj…

("Sorry, ma'am…" Sheldon, nervously… "Is our Bernadette really that Bernadette?..."

"Shoot, Shelly…If it weren't hard to put that sort of thing off she'd never have won her title before…Your Pawpaw and I played strip poker every Christmas we could get alone together…" she grinned…)

"Ok…Suppose we hand out those awards later tonight…Separately…" Leonard suggested… Grin… "You know I hate to say it but I'm feelin' up for a game of 'Physics Pfiesta'…Maybe 'cause without Sheldon and Amy here, Leonard and Penny are the team to beat…"

Penny in Santa suit frowning at phone…"I still can't reach poor Amy…That jerk needs a good Nebraska lesson in how to treat women…"

("Say?..." Sheldon eyed Meemaw…

"We're back where you were before, Shelly…Time loop…")

"May I?..." Bernadette beamed at Howard who gave a little shrug…Well, sure…

"In the old days Howard would now ask you if you could give an example and volunteer to be your test dummy…" she grinned…Patting Howard's arm…

"Just givin' my honey a lil' belated Chanukah gift…" smile…

"Uh-huh…" Penny stared…

"Anyway, I'm gonna go over again and try to get her to come…She must be in there…"

"I dunno…She didn't come to the door even when you pounded…Couldn't she have left to go to her mother's or other family…?" Leonard asked…

"She'd have her cell…She'd answer…No, Leonard, I'm worried…Sheldon really hurt her this time…"

("I'm back…" Penelope, a bit wobbly… "Not too soon, I hope?..."

"Oh, no…We've had our talk…And Shelly's friends are heading off again to Amy's place…" Meemaw nodded…Eyeing Sheldon…"Enjoy your coffee?..."

"A wee too much…" hic… "Sorry, Claire always makes our Irish a bit strong…But I'm ok for the job, don't worry…"

"We always used Bailey's Cream…" Meemaw smiled… "I've had my share of aching heads the next day…"

Joseph, it's Christmas…Penelope frowned…And it was only one with Claire at home during my break…

"So…" Sheldon sighed… As they watched the gang leave…"Are we done?...I'm ready to try and patch things up with Amy and help our daughter…I'll be sure and invite Alix to dinner next Christmas…And I'll let her know to stay clear of Leonard and warn Penny…Are we set?..."

"Shelly…You remember what I always used to say about that Star Wars boy?..." Meemaw eyed him coolly…

"Anakin?…You said saving his own son wasn't enough…That anyone, even Hitler would save his own son…But…I'm gonna try and help other people…Meemaw?..."

"And you're forgetting, Sheldon…" Penelope, carefully… "Amy is the one I'm here for to help…Though I understand your grandmother's main concern is you…"

"Meemaw?..." he turned to her…

"Time for me to be off Shelly…Your Pawpaw's waitin'…"

"But I said I was sorry…I said I'd make it right…This isn't fair…"

"Moonpie…You remember what I told you when Pawpaw couldn't save that poor fellow who was to hang…The one he was sure was innocent…?"

"No…Meemaw…Meemaw, please…Help us!...Meemaw!...Don't go!..."

"Goodbye, Moonpie…Look to see me no more, sugar…" her image faded and vanished…

"Life isn't fair, Master Dr. Cooper…" Penelope eyed him coolly… "And as your Meemaw said, if it were, there'd be no mysteries for smart people like you to solve…")


	16. Chapter 16

"It's a Reasonably Bearable Existence…"

Summary: The Powers That Be have had it with Sheldon…And have decided he needs a little Xmas…

Disclaimer: It's all Chuck's…But nothing for Joss Whedon on this one.

(Just a note…To learn more about Amy's rather bipolar, beautiful, and somewhat tragic sister and her Sheldon Cooper obsession, you'll want to read "Gran Mag")

Part XV…Conclusion…

("This isn't right…I've said I'm sorry…I've said I see I did wrong…Why isn't this over?...Why won't you take me to stop Amy from leaving?...What kind of guardian angel are you, anyhow...?" Sheldon stared…

"Amy's, not yours, Master Professor…I tole you that when we started…And if I decide the best help for poor Mistress Dr. Fowler is for her to be rid of you…You should know the Powers That Be are not all that concerned about maintaining your existence in the world…" Penelope, sternly…

"What did I do?...Ok, I didn't exactly support her in her hour of need but I was upset about Meemaw…You saw that…"

"Sheldon…From what I can see, your whole life has been a series of shoving away the people who want to love you…I don't think in all my lifetimes…And Claire and I have had several…I've ever seen anyone so afraid of living…Aren't you just afraid now that you'll be alone?...And being so, why should I trust Mistress Amy to such a person?...She has a right to a life besides holding your hand and telling you it's ok, forever, Sheldon…"

"It's not true…I've tried to love people…I care…Heck, it's been my unseen hand protecting my friends now since the day I met Leonard and kept him from blowing himself up with that rocket fuel…"

"Well, I submit it to you, sir…Not half an hour ago, in relative time, I tole you your little game with Mistress Alix would result in Leonard and Penny's break-up, her eventual suicide, Leonard's leading a life of misery married to a woman he secretly blames for killing his beloved…What was your response?..." stare…

Uh…

"You gave me a lot to process I should point out…A daughter, Amy on the brink of tragedy, seeing my old friends…I didn't know there'd be a test!..."

"Welcome to life, sir…One continuous test…Which you seem to be failing, badly…Despite the efforts of so many who love you to assist you…Even cheat to save you…")

A sudden re-emergence on a dark, dimly lit expanse…Which quickly took form…

A rather familiar form…

("I don't understand…This looks like…Is this the future?..." Sheldon stared…

"One might say that…" Penelope shrugged… "In a strictly metaphorical way…But think more of it as my way of illustrating my point…"

"So we have 'Death Stars' in the future?..." Sheldon beamed…Glancing round at the familiar power nodes, long corridors…Galatic Storm Troopers and droids strolling by…

"With people like you forming a part, I've no doubt Humanity will do such horror as creating such technological terrors…" Penelope sighed…

"Oh…" he stared… "Amy?!...My, she looks nice in Jedi…")

"I dreamed a dream in days gone by…" Amy, in Jedi robes, sang, holding light saber before her as dark-helmeted, dark robed, Sheldon approached…

"That you were Love and Life was worth living…Our Spring would last a thousand years…"

"But you now see that Winter's come…" Sheldon, joining in darkly…Darth Vader tones…

"Sheldon…There is good and love in you yet…" she tried…Sheldon activating light saber… "Besides, you have no upper body strength, my darling…"

"Prosthetic android arms, Amy…It is too late for me…" he swung the saber… "It always was…Your efforts to reclaim me were pointless, as you shall now see…"

"I dreamed a dream in days gone by…That those I loved would go on living…That I could find a home at last…That life would be forgiving…"

("No!..." Sheldon cried… "Stop him!..." he grabbed at Penelope…Who shook her head…

"I can't change this, Sheldon…This is your vision…This is your metaphor for the future…This is what you want, boy-o…"

"Amy!...Don't let me hurt you!" he screamed…

"Way too late for that, Master Dr. Cooper…" Penelope noted…)

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!…" the Palpatine figure chortled from its throne seat facing the two fighters before it… "Sing, sing…Let the rage flow!…"

Sabers crossed…Amy barely holding Sheldon's blow off…

"But everyone I love just dies…" Sheldon sang… "Life's a cheat and God's a liar…He goes and tears our dreams apart…I will not suffer Love again…Again…Again…A…Gaiin..!" Laser saber slash…

Blocked…

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, hah!..." Palpatine rose…

"Sheldon, I can't promise to stay with you…But I will never stop loving you…" Amy, blocking another blow…

"Still I stay from day to day…Hoping and praying that you'll love me…" she sang, carefully holding light saber… "That one day you will be free…Of the fear that chills your heart…" she swung to block another blow…

"Ah…A…sister…" he intoned… "Your thoughts betray…You, Amy…Well, if you won't turn to the Bleak Side…It's a good bet, she will…"

"No!..." Amy howled, striking… "She's much too susceptible after her tough time, poor Charley…I can't let you, Sheldon…" She came in, vicious swing…

"OWWW!..." Sheldon howled… "You burned my prosthetic fingers!...I have pain sensors there!…"

"Sorry, sorry...You shouldn't have brought up Charlotte…" Amy, pushing askew glasses back…

(Sheldon, stare at Penelope…?...

"Her sister…I showed you…" Penelope shrugged…)

"I hafta admit…I'm a little…A lot sensitive there…" Amy sighed… "Jealous, even…"

"Good, good…" Palpatine, in triumph…

"Shut up, Dad…" Amy frowned… "You have no hold or claim on me…"

"Dad?..." Darth Sheldon stared…

"My father…My fear of never thawing your cold side represented as my loveless father in Star Wars metaphor…I've hinted at him to you over the past months, even if you ignored my obvious desire to get closer by sharing…Now do you see why I hate all things 'Star Wars'?..." Amy sighed…"Sheldon, I've triumphed over my fears of rejection…Let me help you…I want to so much…I love you so, I always have…And our daughter…"

"Daughter…?" Darth Sheldon stared…

("No, Amy!..." Sheldon cried… "Don't let him hurt our daughter!...")

Oops…" Amy gulped… "Maybe I was speakin' metaphorically?..."

"Then she will be turned or die!..." Darth Sheldon howled, moving in again…"I won't let her suffer loss!..."

He slashed hard at Amy…She, blocking…Finally, slashing back…

"Damnit!..." Sheldon fussed, staring at the arm on the floor… "I knew I should have anyone but Wolowitz build my prosthetic android parts…"

"I'm sorry, Sheldon!..." Amy, anxiously… "Aren't you hurt?!..."

"The pain sensors are only in my fingers...To help me avoid dangers…I'm not a pain junkie…" annoyed Darth Vader tone…

"Now!...Do it, daughter!..." Palpatine in hooded cloak, bony finger pointing at the stricken Darth Sheldon… "Prove yourself to me, destroy him, and take your rightful place beside me!..."

"Dad…" Amy frowned at Palpatine… "I done tole you…We are done…We were done when you sent Charley away and abandoned us, maybe even before that…I don't feel any guilt or sense of failure or anything but a very slight degree of pity toward you…You pathetic little man who couldn't love anyone…Sheldon…" she turned to him… "You're not my father…I never, ever believed you were…I know you want to love me and you can…I want to help you…But in the end the choice has to be yours…"

"I have the absolute power of the Bleak Side in me…!..." Palpatine rose… "YOU WILL DIE…ALONE, UNLOVED!..."

"Blow it, Dad…" Amy frowned…Waving him off…His power bolts having no effect whatsoever as he flailed arms uselessly at her…

"I'm still Galactic Emperor!...Guards!...Somebody shoot the bitch!..."

"No!..." Darth Sheldon screamed… ("NO!..." Sheldon screamed…)

Guards pouring in…Firing…Amy collapsing… "Sheldon…" she cried… Darth Sheldon running off, guards following in attendence… "Sheldon!…"

"Ha, ha, ha, hah…Didn't see that coming did you?..." Palpatine sneering… "Arrgh…!..." he dissolved as Amy rising to feet fired back a charged bolt…

"I meant what I said, Dad…" grimly…

"Sheldon…" she called down the long, dark corridors, nursing wounds a bit… "Sheldon!...Come back…!"

("Well, a happy ending…" Penelope noted, eyeing a stricken Sheldon… "She's rid of you…And has finally seen just what you're worth, couragewise…I think she'll be all right…"

"But…If this is my fantasy…?"

"She's living it too, Sheldon…" smile… "While she's been sitting at that airport…And now she's realized she can't blame herself for your miserable cowardice…Thanks for the help, kiddo…"

He stared at Penelope…

"I needed to find the one of yours she'd believe…The one that would say once and for all, it's not her fault…She'll have a rough time, but now she knows this is what you want…She's given it her all and you've run away from everything she's offered…And she'll stop hoping for a change in you that will never come…Yeah, kid…She's been watching this all the way through…"

"Amy!...Amy, it's not true…It's not what I want!..." he cried…

"And now you get to live on endlessly in a somewhat damaged, but repairable android body….All alone, just as you've always wanted…Just say the word and I'll leave it so…You have your little fantasy world, safe from anyone bothering you anymore…"

"No…" Sheldon…Staring at the fading Amy Padme in her robes as she still called down the Death Star hallways…

"No, this isn't what I want… It's not what Amy wants…Penny, please…It can't end like this, it's not what we want…I won't run away…Tell me I won't run…I'll stay with her…Whatever happens…I don't want to lose Amy…I don't want to lose my friends…"

"It's your fantasy, Sheldon…You set the conditions, these are your predictions…" she eyed him… "Only you change that…"

"Tell me I can…I can rewrite this…I can stay with her…I don't want a fantasy, I want my life back…Penelope…She needs me, I know she does…And my friends need me…I want them to need me…Tell me, Penny…Penny, tell me I can still change all this…Penelope…Please…" he grabbed for her, slipping…OW!...He felt himself hitting head…)

"Please…" he opened eyes…

Hmmn…?

He sat up on the floor…And stared round the living room…

Safe?...And fallen off my spot…Hmmn…He eyed the laptop on the floor, next to him…

A picture of Amy on the screen, in lab coat smiling at him…

"The time she tried to cheer me up by doing 'Amy in the fish tank'…Oh, Amy…" he beamed…

Oh, my…He stared at the date on the right corner…December 24th…8:15pm…

"It's still Christmas Eve…She did it in the one night?...Well, she did say she was getting Christmas Eve dinner together…And we did move back and forth in time…It's not too late…" he clicked…

No response…But she's on line…Ah, calling her sister and checking for flights to Paris I'd bet…Ok…Leaving groveling note, begging her to come…Done…

But, this could be wrong…It hit the floor pretty hard…I'd better get confirmation…He hurried out the door…

"Penny…Leonard…Howard…Raj…Penny…Leonard…" he pounded on Penny's door…

Hmmn…Nothing…Either out to dinner or to Amy's…Or, if the date's wrong…?

He raced down to the lobby…Where a young boy was heading out in coat, sheet music in hand for caroling…

"Excuse me…What's the day?..."

"Huh?..." the boy eyed him… "The day?..."

Charming lad…

"Yes, my fine fellow…What day is it?...My power went out…"

"Oh…Christmas Eve…" rolling eyes, raising sheet music…Dickhead, unspoken stare…

A delightful boy…So, it's true…I haven't missed it…

Now…What next?...Ah, right…Yes…Brilliant…

"You know the restaurant a few blocks away with the Xmas special buffet…The 'all you can eat turkey platter'?...And the washable menus, developed by the owner's sexually attractive, innocently good-hearted, but profoundly stupid son, Zack…?"

"Wha, that place?...Sure…"

"An intelligent boy, a remarkable boy… A delight to talk to, within limits (come on, Lord…Lets be fair, even you get upset in the Bible…)…Look, kid…Go and order the buffet!…On delivery!…"

"Yeah, right!..." the boy eyed him…

"No, I'm in earnest…Bring Zack back here…Tell him his 'science guys' are ordering it for a friend…A pretty friend…And I'll give you ten dollars…Here's five on account…" he tossed… "Get him here in ten minutes and I'll make it twenty…"

"F-ing ok..." the kid nodded, heading out…

"I'll send it to Alex…The turkey tray alone is bigger than she is…And Zack as the dessert, killing two birds…She's sure to fall for his innocent sweetness, his honest regard for bright people and science, and his incredibly firm buttocks…And he'll fall for…Well, she's pretty, that'll do it…And nice, and smart…It's obvious Zack is looking for someone to help him develop intellectually, whatever his profound if endearing limitations, why else would he keep trying to hang with us?…Leonard will be spared further temptation…And Penny relieved…"

"God, I know I'm reformed but I'm really glad I'm still such a genius…"

Oh!...I should change from my jammies and get dressed…I have to get to Amy before she leaves!...

"Amy!...Ammy!..."

"Sheldon…?" Amy staring at the figure in her doorway…

"Oh, you're still here…I thought I'd have to go to Paris or Maine or something…" he sighed…"Though Maine would make for a nice train ride…We ought to go after Christmas…See your Gran…Where are the others, didn't they come by?..."

"They did…I sent them to dinner…Sheldon?...Why are you here?...And why did you run down the street here, yelling my name?..." frowning stare…

"Well…Amy, you're still in the Santa suit and you say you really don't know?..." he eyed her…Gasping even as he smiled…

Sigh…Smile…"Of course I know…You know you hurt my feelings…And it's Christmas Eve…But can't you tell me?...For once?...After you take a breath…" anxious look…

Gasp…"I want to…At last…" he beamed…"Amy, I've failed you and I am not worthy of you…I've come here, metaphorical hat in hand simply to beg that you will let me try to love you as you deserve…I'm never going to stop being terrified of losing you but I find I'm more afraid of not having you for at least a little while and I will try, I promise, to live in hope that if I do lose you, I'll find you again, somewhere, somehow…Even if I may never scientifically accept an afterlife, I will live in hope of one…"

Gasp… "Sorry…I figured I only had one chance of getting all that out…"

Sob…

"Amy?...This wasn't supposed to make you cry…" aghast stare…

"No, no…You've made me so happy Sheldon…Oh, Sheldon, I love you so much…" Amy hugged him… "Uh…I've something to tell you…It's something I wanted to tell you last night…I…"

"Wait!..." he put up a hand… "Not before this…" he pulled out a box…

"Another tiara!?..." eyes lit up…

"Ummn…Oh…Well, actually…"

"Sheldon, why did you give me a washer?…" she stared at the small box within box in which rested a metal washer…

"It's from the first computer I ever built…But I figured you could either get the actual engagement ring later or have some stone thing or whatever set…"

"What…?" she blinked…As he went on one knee…

"Amy Farrah Fowler…Light of my life, savior of my heart…As my mom will say, 'Jesus, bless the day you came into my life'…Amy…Will you do me the honor of giving me a chance to love you as you should be loved?…" he began…

Penny's apartment…Next day…Christmas Day…

"Penny..." Sheldon…

"Penny…" Amy…

"Penny…" Sheldon and Amy…

Penny opening and staring… "Guys?...Amy…" beam… "Sheldon…" curt tone…

"Sheldon?..." Amy, moving to let him address Penny…

"Sheldon?..." Leonard had risen from his seat… "Where were you last night?..."

"Penny…If it's not too late…May I join Amy in accepting Leonard's and your generous invitation to dinner…?"

Frown…

"Please, bestie…He done made it all up and then some…" Amy, pleading smile… "Ummn…Last night…" grin…

"And provided major assistance to you in your romantic endeavors…" he added… "But Leonard will hear about that at Cal Tech on the 3rd…By then Alix and Zack should be a firm item…"

"Agreed…"Amy noted to his questioning look… "And a brilliant application of your new-found abilities in human relations, darling…" kiss…

"What?..." Penny stared…

"Sheldon?..." Leonard… "Come on in…"

"That's Sheldon's Penny's place spot…" Amy noted to Raj on sofa…Sternly…

("Well?…" Penelope beamed… "I think we're good to go…"

"Not bad…A little unconventional focusing on the problem rather than the client but looks like you got the job done…" Joseph, curtly, sound of a stamp being pressed on paper… "There you go…"

Oooh…"They tickle…" she chuckled…Touching wings being strapped on…

"What are you doing?..." he stared…

"I want to surprise Clarence with them tomorrow for Christmas…" she grinned, pulling wings' harness off… "I won't really lie, I'll just say they're pending…After all, you will wanna a day to be sure about them, right?...")

Dinner at Penny's…All seated…

Several still trying to recover from the shock…Bernadette surprisingly taking it in stride…Knew that boy would come round…Heck, I managed it with Howard Wolowitz…

"So you're going to Maine…And Paris?... For your…" Leonard gulped…

"Honeymoon…?" Howard gasped...Penny, pleased, but shaking head in wonder…

"We thought it was a good combination…" Sheldon smiled… "And Amy's sister in France needs to see her and meet me…Again…" Grin to Amy…

"Under controlled conditions…" Amy noted…"A long story, but suffice it to say, Sheldon has Fowler groupies…Three, now…Two, for life…" she beamed… "Though I hope to make it four in time…I've always wanted three children…Just enough balance…"

"Sheldon…As a brother, I feel it my duty to stand in for Amy's brother, she not having one…" Raj, quick gulp at his wine glass… "And I'm glad to see I will not have to challenge you over the insult to the Fowler house…But make sure you do right by this girl or taste the wrath of Koothrapali…"

"Ditto…" Penny noted… Raising glass…"But good job, Moonpie…" she grinned at Sheldon…

Blinking a second later… "Sorry…I've no idea why I said that…"

"I do…It's fine, Penelope…" Sheldon smiled… "And congrats on the wings…"

"Huh?..." Penny stared…

"C'mon…" Bernadette nudged Howard… "You know you have to say it…"

"Howard?..." Leonard eyed him…

"Ok…Look…" Howard sighed… "Bernie's right…I have to say it…Sheldon, I cannot believe you have actually managed…Reproduction…"

"Excuse me…" Amy frowned… "I had some hand in this…And I want to remind you all that Sheldon asked me to marry him before he got confirmation of pregnancy…"

"But…" she relented… "Frankly, I can't believe it myself…" grin… "And I can't believe it really was everything I dreamed it would be…" Bwhhaaa, slyly…"Bazinga…I can use that now, under the Marital Agreement…"

"And it was…And will continue to be…" Sheldon beamed… "Double bazinga…Meaning yes, that's hilarious and yes, it's true…It really was all we ever dreamed…And our little girl will always know her parents are loving and in love…Always…"

"A daughter?...You , uh, sure of that…?" Leonard smiled…

"It'll be a daughter, I know it…" Sheldon, simply…

"But how do you know it'll be a girl, Sheldon?..." Leonard shook his head…

"Faith, Leonard…" Sheldon smiled…Hugging a beaming Amy…


End file.
